Fat

It’s been a while since TooStalky—a guy who frequently stops by my house and yells, “Lisa, Lisa” (which, by the way, is not my name)—has made his rounds.

The other day, MiniMe and I were sitting in the front room when we heard this, “Lisa, Lisa. Hello. Open the door. Hello.”

“Shit, it’s TooStalky! Close the blinds. Lock the doors,” I told MiniMe.

We did so and successfully avoided having to say, over and over again, “We don’t have any work for you right now.”

TooStalky

 

A few days later he returned and, as luck would have it for him, I was hanging out on the stoop with Rated R and Live Longer.

“Lisa, I need some work,” were the first words out of his mouth.

“Hi. I don’t have anything for you to do right now.” I replied.

“You need mulch,” he advised.

“I can do that myself,” said I, proudly.

“I will trim your trees,” he then offered.

“I can also do that myself,” I advised.

“You’ll cut off your arm. Come, let’s go take look,” he said and started walking toward by back 40.

As we walked he asked, “May I tell you something? You don’t get mad?”

“Sure,” I said knowing that with a disclaimer like that whatever he was going to tell me was probably going to upset me.

“You look fat,” he flatly stated then attempted, again, to convince me I should hire him.

I, politely, replied with a big fat “NO!”

404 thoughts on “Fat”

  1. Hey are using WordPress for your site platform? I’m new to the blog world but I’m trying to get started and create my own. Do you require any html coding knowledge to make your own blog? Any help would be greatly appreciated!

  2. Excellent items from you, man. I have take into account your stuff prior to and you are just extremely excellent. I actually like what you’ve obtained right here, certainly like what you are stating and the way in which wherein you say it. You’re making it enjoyable and you still care for to keep it sensible. I can’t wait to learn much more from you. That is really a terrific website.

  3. I know this if off topic but I’m looking into starting my own weblog and was wondering what all is required to get setup? I’m assuming having a blog like yours would cost a pretty penny? I’m not very web savvy so I’m not 100% sure. Any tips or advice would be greatly appreciated. Thank you

  4. Hey there! I know this is kind of off-topic however I needed to ask. Does running a well-established blog such as yours take a massive amount work? I’m completely new to operating a blog but I do write in my diary daily. I’d like to start a blog so I can share my personal experience and thoughts online. Please let me know if you have any ideas or tips for brand new aspiring bloggers. Thankyou!

  5. Write more, thats all I have to say. Literally, it seems as though you relied on the video to make your point. You definitely know what youre talking about, why waste your intelligence on just posting videos to your blog when you could be giving us something informative to read?

  6. An interesting discussion is worth comment. I do think that you need to write more on this issue, it might not be a taboo subject but usually people don’t speak about such topics. To the next! All the best!!

  7. Hey there, I think your website might be having browser compatibility issues. When I look at your blog site in Safari, it looks fine but when opening in Internet Explorer, it has some overlapping. I just wanted to give you a quick heads up! Other then that, great blog!

  8. Great blog! Do you have any recommendations for aspiring writers? I’m planning to start my own website soon but I’m a little lost on everything. Would you advise starting with a free platform like WordPress or go for a paid option? There are so many choices out there that I’m totally confused .. Any recommendations? Many thanks!

  9. Nice post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am inspired! Extremely useful information particularly the closing phase 🙂 I handle such info much. I used to be looking for this particular info for a very lengthy time. Thanks and best of luck.

  10. Hi! Quick question that’s completely off topic. Do you know how to make your site mobile friendly? My site looks weird when viewing from my iphone 4. I’m trying to find a template or plugin that might be able to resolve this issue. If you have any suggestions, please share. Appreciate it!

  11. I’m no longer positive where you are getting your information, however good topic. I must spend some time finding out more or figuring out more. Thank you for fantastic information I used to be looking for this information for my mission.

  12. It’s a pity you don’t have a donate button! I’d definitely donate to this brilliant blog! I guess for now i’ll settle for bookmarking and adding your RSS feed to my Google account. I look forward to fresh updates and will share this blog with my Facebook group. Talk soon!

  13. Undeniably believe that which you stated. Your favourite justification appeared to be on the internet the easiest factor to consider of. I say to you, I certainly get annoyed while people think about issues that they plainly don’t understand about. You managed to hit the nail upon the top as smartly as outlined out the whole thing with no need side-effects , other folks can take a signal. Will likely be back to get more. Thanks

  14. Its like you read my mind! You appear to know a lot about this, like you wrote the book in it or something. I think that you could do with some pics to drive the message home a little bit, but other than that, this is excellent blog. An excellent read. I will definitely be back.

  15. This is the right site for everyone who wants to find out about this topic. You realize so much its almost tough to argue with you (not that I really will need to…HaHa). You definitely put a brand new spin on a subject that’s been written about for many years. Excellent stuff, just excellent!

  16. I am extremely impressed with your writing skills as well as with the layout on your blog. Is this a paid theme or did you customize it yourself? Either way keep up the nice quality writing, it is rare to see a great blog like this one nowadays.

  17. Hey there just wanted to give you a quick heads up. The text in your post seem to be running off the screen in Chrome. I’m not sure if this is a formatting issue or something to do with browser compatibility but I figured I’d post to let you know. The design and style look great though! Hope you get the problem resolved soon. Kudos

  18. Have you ever considered writing an ebook or guest authoring on other sites? I have a blog based on the same topics you discuss and would really like to have you share some stories/information. I know my readers would value your work. If you are even remotely interested, feel free to shoot me an e-mail.

  19. Generally I don’t read post on blogs, however I would like to say that this write-up very pressured me to take a look at and do so! Your writing taste has been amazed me. Thank you, very nice post.

  20. I’m not sure where you’re getting your information, but good topic. I needs to spend some time learning much more or understanding more. Thanks for fantastic information I was looking for this info for my mission.

  21. Great post. I was checking constantly this blog and I am impressed! Very helpful information specially the last part 🙂 I care for such information much. I was looking for this particular information for a long time. Thank you and best of luck.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *