Guest Relations

I support local business. I shop at quaint boutiques, buy the best local coffee and regularly eat at food trucks and carts. When it comes to ‘dating,’ however, I tend to be a bit more global.


Recently, when on an impromptu trip with D-Dog at a locally owned boutique hotel, I reached out to a beau who I hadn’t seen for a while. He was interested in meeting up and suggested that D-Dog make like a local at the nearest public library while we ‘catch up.’


I thought this was a nice plan and, with D-Dog’s approval and instruction, “don’t have sex on my bed,” we planned a little afternoon delight.


About twenty minutes into our catching up there was a knock at the door followed by two simple words, “Guest Relations.”


“Yes?” was our reply.


“Is everything okay?”


Our reply remained the same, “Yes.”


We both laid silent and still.


Once I heard the elevator descend I asked, “Were we that loud?”


“No,” he replied.


“As a local, have you ever had that happen?”


“Never,” he said and added, “Do they really think someone would tell them if things weren’t okay? ‘I’m just beating her, thanks for asking.'”


His point was valid. Had they not trusted our response would they have just entered the room? Seems like a risky move but, in this case, they would definitely uncover the naked truth.


Next time, I may have to screw the ‘local’… wait, I already did.

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