It’s been unseasonably warm lately. So much so, that many people are regularly throwing around the term, “Indian Summer.” Turns out, nobody really knows what they are talking about. Simply put, when the autumn air is warm in the day and cool at night, most believe they are experiencing an Indian Summer. According to the smartest Uniform Resource Locater on the planet, Wikipedia, this is simply not so. An Indian Summer cannot occur until after November 11 – St. Martin’s Day. On this day, it is believed (and celebrated) that the growing season ends and the harvesting begins.
So, what we’re experiencing, in my exPert (I formerly washed my hair with Pert Plus, hence, ‘exPert’) opinion, is good weather for this time of year. I do, however, like the many foreign terms given to this phenomenon, specifically, Oudewijvenzomer – Old Ladies’ Summer.
Sleepless, Calling The Dog, Fine Girl and I decided to take advantage of our (Old Ladies) summer and met at the golf course to play the Par 3 Course. Calling The Dog and Fine Girl arrived earlier than Sleepless and I (a nice way to say we were late), so we phoned them once we arrived. “We’re in the back, getting drunk,” they advised us. When we told them we had coffee and ‘covert creamer,’ they quickly joined us in the cafe and we began our adventure.
Calling The Dog was driving their cart and, based on her park job, didn’t appear to want to have to walk any great distance in order to tee off. “I’m pretty sure she is breaking the rules. I think you’re supposed to park 30 feet from the tee box,” Two Stamps told us while we all enjoyed our coffee with covert creamer – the latter ‘ingredient’ being a major violation. She then checked the backside of the score card, where the course rules are detailed. “Hmmm, I guess she isn’t breaking the rules afterall,” Two Stamps noted. “Nice to know we have broken the first rule and will continue to do so the rest of the game,” I stated upon reading the rules. Rule #1: Each player must be registered and have own set of clubs. I think Sleepless is registered at Target and Bed, Bath and Beyond, so the first part was covered, but she was definitely sharing my Cougar clubs.
We decided to throw caution to the wind (there was actually no wind due to Oudewijvenzomer) and continue on with our game. As luck would have it, we were losing balls left and right. For every one we would lose, we would find two or three more. “I love finding balls,” Fine Girl stated. “Me too,” Calling The Dog, Sleepless and I all replied. “You’ve sure got a lot of balls,” I told Calling The Dog while noticing her surplus. “Lucky lady,” Sleepless added. “Not really. Most of the balls I’ve had have been dicks,” Calling The Dog quipped.
We continued on the Par 3 Course, which, like Indian Summer, was not aptly named. Par When We’re Done Course would have been more appropriate. Speaking of appropriate, we were. We followed most of the rules – specifically, leaving our shirts on at all times and repairing ball marks. We did, however, do a brody on the 9th hole. To our defense, we got it confused with a birdie – simple mistake. We figure they’ll forgive us because it’s our summer, Oudewijvenzomer!