Skiwi, DDDG and I decided to meet Sleepless and Ice Cream Man at Ice Cream Man’s family ranch for a last minute weekend getaway. With Sleepless and Ice Cream Man already there, they sent us the address, the code for the gate, and told us to watch for deer and two lit pine trees. Not having been to this part of the state before, we relied on GPS for navigation. About a half mile before we got to the ranch, the GPS told us we were there. We were clearly not there and hadn’t seen deer or lit pine trees. Not one to give up, I kept going until we saw one lit pine tree, a gate, and a keypad. “Let’s try it,” Skiwi said. We entered the code, heard the robotic phrase, “Access Granted,” watched the gate open, and began our weekend getaway.
Once in the cabin, and in his slippers, Skiwi took a look around and said, “I should have grabbed a pair of undies from my crazy underwear drawer. Then I could have done a re-enactment of the Hamptons.” “You have a crazy undies drawer?” I asked. “That would be sweet,” Ice Cream Man replied with a gleam in his eye and a smirk on his face as he recalled the time he ran around the house in the Hamptons with nothing but an elephant trunk covering his junk.
“This calls for something special,” Ice Cream Man said as he pulled out a bottle of home-brewed Mexican tequila.”This stuff is amazing, made with agave.” “It is really good,” Sleepless agreed. Ice Cream Man looked at Sleepless, smiled, and said, “This tequila, well, it makes the sex….anyway, you guys will love it.” “Uh, no, not happening,” DDDG assured him. “She doesn’t like to have sex in other people’s houses,” Skiwi advised. “You’re at the ranch, it’s like your own home,” Ice Cream Man told them. “No,” DDDG firmly stated.
“By the way, did you see the TV in the master bedroom?” Ice Cream Man asked Skiwi. “I did,” Skiwi replied and added, “I pushed the button and up it came.” This made both Sleepless and I giggle, but it shouldn’t have as they were merely discussing the ‘hidden’ television. “I recently watched a show on TV and they recommended against having a television in the room – bedrooms are for sleeping and sex,” Skiwi told us. “Unless you’re not in your own bedroom,” I reminded him. “True. That TV upstairs though, well, that’s probably too much up and down in the bedroom,” Skiwi told us. “No wonder that room is off limits,” I told Sleepless as she continued to giggle. We may have been granted access to the ranch, but access to the up and down (TV, master bedroom, and tequila sex) was denied.