Keeping with tradition, I decided to pay to have someone do my yard work this weekend. Although I typically do this for selfish reasons, I like to believe I am also doing it to help out others.
For example, when Oreggano and Cream Of Tartar mow my lawn, I pay them with beer. In addition to providing them an opportunity to feel good about doing something nice for someone – in this case, me – they also get to enjoy the cold, refreshing taste of fermented barley, hops, yeast and water.
TooStalky, one of my other yard steadies, doesn’t drink and prefers cash only payments. In addition, he tends to ask me what I want to pay instead of assessing the task and providing a bid. The last time he worked for me was on Christmas Day. He needed money and I wanted my leaves raked, so it was a win-win. As often happens when the hired help are working, I sit in the house, drinking coffee (usually with Dr. BJ), while they work.
This day was going to be no different. Originally, I had agreed to pay TooStalky $250 for the work. “How much you pay me?” he asked. “I have no idea how long this may take you or how difficult the work might be,” I advised him and added, “I’m thinking maybe $300.” “How about $250?” he suggested. I’ve negotiated with TooStalky before and he typically negotiates higher, not lower, so I was pleased with both his price and his ‘honesty.’
When he arrived to do the work, I had just woken up and was wearing my ‘pajamas’ – a tank top and shorts. We talked about the job and then he asked a question of me, “You make weight?” “What?” I asked. “You make weight?” “I’m sorry, I don’t understand the question,” I informed him. “You know, make weight. Not like lose weight, but make weight,” he kindly clarified. “Oh, right, no, I just haven’t worked out lately. Thank you for asking,” I replied. So much for appreciating his honesty. He then posed another question, “So, I was thinking, maybe you pay me $300 for the work.”
He should know better than to ask for more money after a comment like that. Clearly, I make weight, not money.