Ho-use Sitting

Rated R plans to leave town soon and has asked a family member to stay at her house. Although this puts some of her concerns to rest, it has raised one major concern for her.


“I really hope they don’t have sex in my bed,” she told Tree and I.


“Where would you prefer they have it?” I asked.


“I’m looking around trying to find a spot I haven’t had sex in your house,” Tree told me.


This admission nearly caused Rated R to spit out her wine.


“Next time warn me so I can swallow,” she said.


“Swallowing happened over there,” Tree gestured to a nearby window.


“I only have one stipulation: anal in the back…..room,” I advised.


“Or over there,” Tree quipped.


After our conversation I researched proper etiquette for housesitting and, to Rated R’s dismay, found nothing about whether or not one should have sex in the bed of the homeowner. In fact, the only related etiquette I found was that the sheets be washed.


So, the next time you’re housesitting, feel free to use Tree as your example and, as a common courtesy, wash the sheets.

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