Sleepless has been on a bit of a kick lately, where she takes note of one-liners and then posts them on her facebook page – completely out of context and leaving others wanting more.
The other day I was chatting with her about one of my favorite drinks, bubble tea. As I continued to go on about the tea and the most important part, boba balls, she informed me she has never had bubble tea.
Remembering her facial expression when she had cranberries, and knowing not everyone is a fan of boba balls, I wanted to be with her for her first tea, to see how she’d respond. “Don’t ever have one without me. I want to watch you swallow.” As soon as it came out of my mouth I realized it was totally fünked up. If Tobias Fünke was with me, he’d have a bubble tea and after a few boba balls got caught in his straw he’d say, “Even if it means me taking a chubby, I will suck it up.”
A few days later and I’m dining with 2Dew. “Today has definitely been a two Dew day,” she advised me. She wasn’t kidding. The server brought everyone their meal, except her. Clearly, it had been forgotten. Trying to help, I asked her, “Do you want some of my taco?” She heard me, but she didn’t reply. If Tobias had been there he might advise her, “Don’t leave your Uncle T-Bag hanging.”