MissInformation has the misfortune, like so many others made in March, of celebrating her birthday within days of Christmas. She was discussing this misfortune with me and reviewing some of the combination gifts (half birthday, half Christmas) she has received, when she was reminded of the gifts I had wanted to give this year. “Did you give the gift of the library to any of your friends?” she asked. Sadly, I had to inform her I did not.
A few weeks before Christmas I had a brilliant plan for green giving. My thought was to check out books (no CDs or DVDs – their late fees and replacement costs are too high) from the library and give them to people with, instead of a gift receipt, a due date receipt. This way, all of my friends could enjoy the temporary high I experience each time I check out a book and return it within three weeks. Unfortunately, I ran out of time and, like so many others during the holidays, every time I ‘shopped’ I just ended up finding things for me.
This gift giving discussion reminded me of another ‘green’ gift idea that I joked about last year. We all have ‘friends’ who have everything and shopping for them can be very difficult. So, why not give them the gift that just keeps on giving and can totally be regifted? Yes, why not give your friends chlamydia? I know what you’re thinking, “I gave my friends chlamydia last year,” or “Chlamydia is like Xbox, most of my friends already have it.” Contrary to popular belief, not everyone has it. If, however, they do have it, no need to fret, there are other infectious diseases out there that they may not have. For example, syphilis.
If you’re feeling extra generous, or if it is for someone sharing a birthday and a major holiday, you could give them an infectious disease and a book from the library. I’m not sure what read goes well with chlamydia, but I’m sure you can find something nice. For other bad recycling ideas, might I recommend GreenGo Girl.
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