Author: grigiogirl

Last night was c to the r to the a to the z to the y crazy! By the time we finished wiggin’ out and writing sick lyrics for our song/music video, we were so exhausted that we had to go to bed. Yes, that’s how we roll.  And rollin’ is something I’ll bring up again in a few sentences.

Instead of having breakfast at the B&B this morning, S-Unit, MC Static Cling and I went to The 101 Coffee Shop. Like many places in LA, there are autographed pics of “celebrities” hanging on the walls. While walking by a grouping of pictures, S-Unit was quick to point out, “I don’t even know her.” MC Static Cling and I had to look back to see the pic/celebrity: Audrey Marie Anderson. We don’t even know her either.

Being that we were in Gran Chorizo’s hood, we invited him to join us. As soon as Gran Chorizo arrived we gave each other a high five for Palm Sunday – didn’t want the day to passover without doing that.

A lot of interesting people frequent The 101 Coffee Shop. S-Unit was intrigued by the patrons, “I just love watching people watching.” Yes, she loves to watch people, who are people watching.

After breakfast we decided to see a movie at the Vistafari – best movie theater in LA! S-Unit and I decided against getting popcorn. Not because we just had breakfast – we just prefer to eat other people’s concessions. Thanks MC Static Cling.

Once we got home we started talking about the day and laughing about some of the shenanigans. We were all laughing out loud, loudly. None of us, sadly, laughed our asses off. I did, however, decide to try rolling on the couch laughing (aka, ROCL); the floor was too dirty.

MC Static Cling and I “Lougled” Audrey Marie Anderson after S-Unit went home. It appears she is the wife of a Unit member on “The Unit.” MC Static Cling was shocked,”You would think S-Unit would know something like that.” As S-Unit would and did say, “What the shut the front door!?!?”

Second day in a row that my host, MC Static Cling, brought me Yogi tea and girl scout cookies (trefoils) for breakfast.

We decided to go for a walk (and move the cars before getting tickets) and stumbled upon a health fair for senior citizens. They had karaoke, barbecue, wii and eye exams and it was all we could do to not pull out our fake IDs.

We hit Starbucks and grabbed “crack” for Mini Sparkle Donut and then went home to get ready for the day.

Mini Sparkle Donut had made DIY Coco Chanel tees and we decided they would look best with our new neon wigs. We donned our wigs, tees and stripper boots and crammed into the Neon. MC Static Cling thinks its pretty bad when the best car you have is a Neon.

Since we were dressed for success, we went to a couple of craft stores in preparation for our music video. We had a few people ask if we were “in a show.” Not sure what that means.

Once the sun set, She’s A Hard One and S-Unit joined in the festivities; which involved wigs, wine, walking and wacky cake. It also involved making a video and if I can figure out how to upload it, you’ll see it……

Anytime you can start the day with Tagalongs and Yogi tea, you know it is going to be a good day.

She’s a Hard One met up with Mini Sparkle Donut and I for “like crack.” Translation: Green tea latte from Starbucks. Mini Sparkle Donut is hooked.

She’s a Hard One told us when she woke up this morning her head was pounding harder than Guido’s fist pumpin’ at a house club. Caffeine should cure that.

We decided to go for a hike in Griffith Park, to The Giving Tree. After giving our heavies to the tree we did a triple tree twist and started making our way back to the car.

On the way, we saw some people embracing the trees. Interesting. Mini Sparkle Donut told me, “I’ve touched trees for energy and stuff but I’ve never hugged one. That’s taking it to another level. That would really change me. In fact, that would make me a treehugger.”

Today I met up with The Leaver and Karaoke Queen for a bit of conversation, bubble tea, room for cream, pretty mocha and Happy Lady.

As always, all things mentioned were fabulous. The boba balls were exceptionally good and Happy Lady was exceptionally happy. The Leaver, however, had to leave, so our time together was short (but sweet and with lots of cream – girl loves her cream).

After our rendezvous I hopped on a plane and headed to Hollywood. As usual, my bag was weighed down by my rollerskates and wigs. In an attempt to lighten the load, I decided against packing the wigs.

Upon arriving at Mini Sparkle Donut’s place we decided to pull out our laptops and do what we do best: post notes on each other’s walls while sitting directly across from each other. Today we took it a step further and watched Mini Sparkle Donut’s DIY video, at the same time, on our own laptops.

We were just about to skype (each other) when we got word that She’s a Hard One was almost here. Woot! Love She’s a Hard One – she is uber talented and a ton of fun!

We swapped stories and were creative for a while and then decided to tear into a couple of boxes of girl scout cookies. She’s a Hard One was concerned about calories and wasn’t sure if she should have a Tagalong. She thought it might be better to stick with the Thin Mints. If they were fattening, wouldn’t they be called “Fat Mints”?

She’s a Hard One was looking very fashionable in a polka-dot, “Pretty Woman” style dress so we decided she should probably take the dog for a walk. It just made sense.

A few weeks ago I received a catalog detailing community education classes at the local high school. Always one interested in learning, I decided to review the course listings.

After a thorough review, I thought both a core and mind workout would suit me best. Thus, I planned to register for Hula Hooping and Italian (Beginning).

I ran this idea by my cousin who advised me I could save oodles of money by not taking the hula hooping class and, instead, head to the toy store, buy a hula hoop and spend an hour or two “hooping” it up each week in the comfort of my own backyard. She’s always so practical.

Speaking Italian, unfortunately, could not be accomplished so easily. I bought a Berlitz book at a thrift shop and, according to the book, “If you can speak English, you can speak Italian.” If this is true, my English must suck.

Fortunately, Alice plans to join me in my learning adventures and, between the two of us, we should be the best hula hoopin’ Italian speakin’ signorinas this town has ever seen!

Recently I became aware of a situation which reminded me there may be some truth to the karma theory.

My friends and I used to joke that we have dated Karman, thus, should have a major credit balance in that department. Most of the people I chat with about karma tell me we don’t always get to see it come around.

When we do actually get to see what appears to be karma come around, I think it would be nice if we could send a simple thank you. Technically, or spiritually, one should just be able to send thanks out to “the universe.”

I decided to check with some of my friends for a mailing address for karma and Handsome Holdaway was first to respond: 1137 Don’t Be An Ass Road, Payback’s a Bitch, Nevada 55555. Sounds about right. Arcade followed up quickly, advising me to be sure to include sufficient postage or everything will come back to me.

Ah, karma……thanks.

While at the grocery store, a little boy was running around the aisles and ignoring his mother’s numerous requests to stop. She finally caught up with him, grabbed his arm and said, “I’ve got two words for you: be have.” I’ve got one word for that: whystudygrammar?

Last summer, I was in New York with some friends and family when one of them decided to suck in the air of a helium balloon. Once she had taken in a sufficient amount of helium, she started singing, “I ho, I ho, it’s off to work I go.” She was devastated when I informed her the lyrics were “Heigh ho, Heigh ho,” and the seven dwarfs worked in a mine, not the street corner.

I’ve known Skiwi for some time. He moved near my hood several years ago and we hang out pretty regularly.  When we can’t hang out in person, we’ll often chat on the phone, facebook or skype.

I can’t recall a time when Lindsay wasn’t around for all of this. In fact, if it wasn’t for Lindsay, Skiwi definitely wouldn’t be online — she has been innovative for him!

There were, sadly, a few times when Lindsay skipped out, so Skiwi and I wouldn’t connect, but most of the time she was there for him, us, really.

Until the other day. Skiwi came home, completed a few routine tasks, went to hop online, and realized Lindsay was gone. He looked everywhere for her: the bedroom, the basement, the bistro, outside. Nothing. Gone.

Skiwi immediately phoned me (luckily she couldn’t take that away), to tell me of her disappearance and he was clearly devastated. Lindsay must have moved (a little notice would have been nice). Or, changed her wireless network name and added a password. One thing was clear, Skiwi would have to pay for his internet service now.

What a day! Alice and I started it off right with a corndog (me, not her), tots, baby cones and apple juice at the AC. Took forever to get anywhere today. Damn National Corndog Day traffic was definitely slowing things down.

 

Finished the day with That’s Not Chinese and Tree. We decided to grace a tapas bar with our presence and, while selecting menu items, we were reminded That’s Not Chinese is not very Greek. She doesn’t like olives, cucumbers, goat cheese, Metaxa, or Ouzo. Tree and I, on the other hand, quite enjoy these things.

 

Tree decided to have an Area B51 FLAMING cocktail for dessert. The waiter brought the flaming drink to him and asked if he knew from where to drink. “The rim?” Wrong answer. Right answer: straw; however, it is recommended that you blow out the flame first. If you don’t, you’re drinking from the rim because your straw is melted.

 

We went back to That’s Not Chinese’s house and she decided to try on Tree’s hat and take pictures. Tree advised her, “We’re gonna take a couple of pictures, ’cause I like photo shoots. Normally, I’m the model. I just love flash photography.”

 

As we continued chatting, Tree informed us he had purchased Psychopathology Today Third Edition at a yard sale for $1. He stated he had been self-medicating for years, so he decided it made sense to self-diagnose. If you do the math, $1 is a lot less than a copay and is a good deal for a diagnosis.  Tree determined his top three personality disorders to be 1) sociopath, 2) borderline and 3) narcissistic.

 

That’s Not Chinese was not happy with his choices and as she was discussing them with him, ruling them out actually, Tree informed her he was “bi-polar bear.” That was a diagnosis That’s Not Chinese was willing to accept.

 

I was taking notes about this exchange and That’s Not Chinese advised Tree he would be in my blog. Tree replied, “It’s OK, as long as I’m being talked about.” He went on to say he once inherited a DSM-V (“V,” not “five”). That’s Not Chinese was quick to inform him there is no such thing as DSM-V, just DSM-IV (four). Tree, in his infinite wisdom, replied, “Hey, whatever, I’ve got problems, I’m just trying to figure it out.”

 

As we were leaving, Tree was discussing signs and horoscopes. He stated he gets daily answers from the universe and by “daily,” he means Monday thru Friday. He gets an email daily (Monday – Friday) and it starts with, “You know, Tree…..” The reason Tree is so smitten by these messages?  “It (email) says my name, that’s why I like it.” Ah, the simplicity.  Thanks Tree!

This is a question that, depending on the person and reason for being asked, can go many ways.

For example, when V and I went to Jackson, I asked her what she was wearing/packing so I could pack accordingly.

While on a conference call at work we were discussing face-to-face contact for the next meeting. One of the callers stated they wanted to physically get together so they could see me, my hair, my clothes, my style, and then asked what I was wearing. I’m not falling for that question on a conference call. Not again anyway.

Last example: I received a text with the question, “What are you wearing?” I replied, “Same thing as earlier, minus the jacket. Oh, and minus the wool panties, they were just too itchy.”