A+

Reports and validation are important. For the last week I have (mistakenly) been receiving a midnight report detailing behavior of a few individuals. Last night’s report started like this:

Things were frightfully [Halloween night] calm. Everyone was being at their best behavior.

The report went on to detail specifics (the names of the innocent have been changed; not so much to protect them, rather, to represent my peeps):

That’s Not Chinese was asleep before 11 pm.

Rated R was asleep early as well.

Ice Cream Man had a shower then went to bed.

Sleepless slept 2 hours and roamed the rest of the night.

On My Terms was visiting with staff until 11 pm; though the staff tried to tell her to go to bed at 10 pm.

I quite like this reporting idea and fully plan to implement it at our next sleepover. I was reporting this and other items of interest, like substance abuse problems, to Tree and Awkward when Tree said, “Why didn’t I end up with any major diseases when I was doing drugs? Just lucky I guess.” Even though we’re assholes, and then some (hence our self-given grade of A+), we have healthy attitudes. Tree remains positive in attitude and medical conditions, despite the odds. I’m guessing it is his self-diagnosis of narcissism (just one of three he has diagnosed) that gets him through these tough times. Respect.

Speaking of narcissism, I was chatting with That’s Not Chinese – who was very happy to be having a conversation, “Yeah! This means I’ll end up in the blog!” – and she informed me Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) is, in fact, in the new DSM-V; despite discussions to omit it. I’m pretty sure the individuals who determine DSM content/diagnoses started a rumor that they were removing the diagnosis simply to draw attention to themselves – classic NPD. “Thank God Histrionic is still there too,” That’s Not Chinese informed Unfazed and I. “It’s nice to have validation,” I replied. “Yes, yes it is!” That’s Not Chinese loudly agreed while raising her glass in honor of her preferred diagnosis.

A+ my friends! I like your work!