A lot of people experience what many refer to as a midlife crisis. For a majority, this occurs in their early forties or after a divorce – and are often the reason for a divorce. As I’ve heard stories about others in this mode and have witnessed several people I know doing things that could be deemed midlife (for some, based on their age, they won’t live long enough to benefit from the senior discount at TJ Maxx – so sad), I’ve wondered if, perhaps, I should give having a midlife crisis a go.
With this in mind, I conducted a modern-day study by making my thought my facebook status, “Thinking about having a mid-life crisis. Any suggestions?‘ The suggestions came in full force – many with a common theme: boy toy” Other suggestions were right on track with things I’ve heard or witnessed: sleeve tattoo, nude beach, red convertible, boob job, drink a lot of wine, motorcycle with leathers, and, my favorite, “Hide your porn in the heat vent, drink vodka out of a gas can, buy a stupid sports car and cheat on your wife.” That suggestion came from my cousin and those were all things her ex did, in his forties, just prior to their divorce. Textbook midlife.
I’ve not yet decided a course of action, nor do I know how old I’ll be when I die, which makes planning a mid-life crisis rather difficult. In the meantime, I plan to pull out my 49cc Twist n’ Go scooter – complete with leather tassels on the handle bars, don my eightball helmet, throw a bottle of wine in the seat, and cruise somewhere at a cool 26 mph while sporting a tank top that accentuates my 100% natural boobs – those on the front of my body and on my back.