Ice Cream Man invited Sleepless, Ashterisk and I to join him for dinner. We all accepted the invitation and, after I went to the wrong restaurant, we finally met up at a fine dining establishment. As we dined we wondered how many people might wonder if Ice Cream Man was on a date with his sister wives. We guessed at least four out of five (wives).
Ice Cream Man would start to tell us a story and one of us would, inevitably, interrupt him. This, of course, upset him so I started asking, “Ice Cream Man, what?” For whatever reason, this catch phrase caught on faster among us women than it did with Ice Cream Man – he continued to ignore us, even we discussed the argument we planned to have when deciding who could ride in the front seat with him.
After dinner we decided to return to Ashterisk’s house where she immediately hooked Ice Cream Man up with a beer and Sleepless immediately headed to the loo. When Sleepless returned she whispered in my ear, “When you go to the bathroom, take your phone.”
A little while later I stood up to go the loo. “Are you checking on your phone?” Sleepless asked. “Sleepless, what? No, I’m just going to the loo,” I said, not realizing she was reminding me to take my phone with me. As soon as I entered the bathroom I thought two things: “Ashterisk, what?!?!?” and “Damn! This is why I need my phone.”
Just as someone removes their contacts at night, Ashterisk removes hers silicone bra gel inserts and, like a contact lens wearer, she leaves them on the bathroom counter for everyone to see. Except for, of course, the contact lens wearer whose contacts are, just like the silicone bra gel inserts, sitting on their bathroom counter.