Last year OregganO and I decided we needed some extra cash and an opportunity to promote a new business idea, so we held a yard sale and sold meals out of a wheelbarrow. Our business plan was simple: wear daisy dukes and cowboy boots and have a “draw” – in this case, it was a set of three framed religious portraits of people and places popular in our neck of the woods, OregganO referred to it as “The Trilogy”. Luckily, the draw didn’t sell right away and kept the traffic flowing until the very end of the day.
This year, we decided to attend our friends’ yard sale instead of holding our own. Several days prior to the yard sale, The Leaver coated our invitation to attend with, “there will be hermosas, Bloody Marys and muffins.” With this type of incentive, we opted to ride our beach cruisers and head out before 8 AM. Anyone who knows OregganO and I knows this is quite the adventure – beach cruising on one of the steepest streets in the city and actually being up and out, on bikes no less, before 8 AM on a Saturday.
As we approached their residence The Leaver was quite impressed with our mode of transportation and immediately pointed us toward the kitchen for muffins, donuts and Bloody Marys. QuQueen was busy selling some of their wares so we took a Bloody Mary to her. Unfortunately, they only had enough vodka for three short drinks and their hermosas were missing one major ingredient: champagne.
The Leaver apologized for falling short on her offer, however, could not take the time to go to the store, “Look at me, I can’t believe how busy I am with this yard sale. I’m multi-tasking with my eyes.” That’s Not Chinese was planning to join us, so I sent her a quick text, “Any chance you have some champagne?” She quickly replied, “Hello, it is me. Of course I have champagne…” and with that we were back on track.
Once That’s Not Chinese arrived she made us hermosas in her standard way, “You guys want orange juice in yours?” and then started checking out the merchandise. Turns out QuQueen hadn’t thoroughly assessed her inventory and was selling intimates. We were laughing about this when The Leaver informed us, “Oh, you think that’s funny, you should see what we found in one of the bags – go take a look in the kitchen.” So we did and found a bottle of percocet. That would have been one major yard sale purchase. About an hour later a customer returned with papers in her hand, “We found this letter in one of the purses, thought you might want it.” Turns out The Leaver and QuQueen also have a draw/trilogy: percocet, intimates and love letters.
Jeez, your Saturday morning bikerides are much more intersting than mine…. Were there any speakers at the sale?
It was a very interesting ride. I forgot to mention we got hit on at the light by a pedestrian with a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon (mind you, it was 7:30 in the morning) – invited us to drum circle at the park.
Sadly, no speakers.