Sleepless and I decided, out of respect for many of our coworkers, to attend Red Mass.
I’d been to mass before, during Christmas at St. Patrick’s Cathedral, but I paid way more attention to the architecture and the hats than I did the ceremony. Plus, it had been several years since this took place, so recall of any of the ceremonial actions were, as Sleepless would say, “penguins that had fallen off the iceberg.”
We arrived just in time to sit down and then stand up as the priests entered the cathedral. As regular mass attendees did the sign of the cross, Sleepless and reviewed the program in hopes that it would provide us prompts for what was next to come. It did, in some ways. For example, when it was our turn to sing, it was much like karaoke in that the words were detailed in the program for us. Unfortunately, like many karaoke evenings, we weren’t always on key or in tune.
At some point we were told to greet our neighbors. Sleepless received guidance from the woman/coworker next to her. I did not, thus, thought people were saying, “Pleased to meet you.” I would respond, “You too.” Turns out the phrase was actually, “Peace be with you.”
At some point one of the priests advised, “We must all look with love at young attorneys.” I put on my best love face and looked at Sleepless. I was getting pretty good at mass.
As the sacrament was served I leaned over to Sleepless, “I still can’t get past the flesh and blood thing. That said, if someone were to eat something to signify my flesh it would probably be a muffin top.”
Several ups, downs, kneels, and ‘Glory to the highest’ later the service was over and we were invited to a reception downstairs. The latter is something I actually do remember about mass: coffee and snacks. No more improvising for me, this part was simple.
All in all, we did a pretty decent job improvising – thanks be to whomever printed the program. Without it, our participation might have been a “mass”ive failure.