While participating in my quarterly group physical exercise class the instructor advised, “If you can’t follow with your hands follow with your feet.” Sound advice. My follow up question, which I kept to myself, was simple, “What if I can’t follow with either?”
Studies (reports from friends) and evidence (Chicago intersection cameras) show that my feet are not followers. Much like me, they go their own way, regardless of what might be in their best interest.
Thus, although I tried to follow with my feet, I failed miserably. As the rest of the class turned counterclockwise I turned A Clockwork Orange. Wait, that’s a movie. I’m not sure what I did but it was definitely not in sync. Lance Bass would be so disappointed.
Fortunately, Beaner was by my side and, with a lack of coordination being a genetic condition, we had our own little show taking place. “I’ve always had a hard time following her moves,” Beaner confided in me. “Follow with your feet,” I replied while tripping over mine. At the same time, the instructor also fell out of step. Her recovery? Smile, yell one of those Zumba sounds (much like what the fox say, “Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!”), throw down a dance style chest press, and move on.
After seeing this happen several times I can say, with great confidence, that this response guarantees perceived balance – I must try it at home! Even if all you’ve got is two left feet, smile, yell, and chest press and you’ll always land on both.