Out with the twins

I decided to work at the furniture store again yesterday. I’m not sure exactly why I do that, it tends to cost me far more money than I ever make. Plus, I’m on a Mad Men marathon. Both Season One and Season Two were due yesterday and not taking them back to the library on time sort of feels like cheating to me. It’s funny because in Mad Men, the majority of the women are very sexy in a librarian, housewife, Mrs. Wiggins kind of way. At the furniture store, they prefer the women dress very non-librarian, more polygamarian. As recently as last year the dress code required hose with sandals. Hot.

A while back one of the senior (truly, he was old and a regular on hot dog days) customers made a comment about my shirt. He didn’t like it – too revealing. Yesterday, many of the staff asked “Where’s your shirt?” Apparently, this is now my uniform for the store. One of the girls piped in, “Doesn’t matter, your boobs show with that dress.” Cleavagely challenged, that’s me. That will be my claim should anyone choose to make an issue. I’ve seen many a man with PhDs whose pants enter the room before they do. Nobody says anything to them, “You should wear looser pants. Is the button fly necessary?”

Like I told Very Interested and ROFL, “The twins stay in all week when I’m at work. Every now and again I like to let them get a little peek of the world out there.” Even doctors stress the importance of getting out there and getting some vitamin D. I’m just doing my part in making the world a better place, for everyone, my twins included.

Before leaving the store I decided to buy a mattress. I went to test them out and found a woman who had been sleeping on the various mattresses, in various positions for approximately five hours. I didn’t have that kind of time nor was I wearing the proper clothing. You see, I was wearing a dress and even though the twins were out, I wasn’t ready to introduce the whole family to my coworkers or the woman on the other mattresses for that matter.

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