Keeping My Day Job

Lately, with the exception of my job and physical therapy, there aren’t too many ‘commitments’ that I remember. As a result, I end up double booking and pissing people off. Fortunately, this doesn’t bother me, just them.

This happened most recently when a coworker told me he had a wine I might like. Apparently, during this conversation, we made plans to drink it on my stoop.

As I was going about my day at work, he stopped by my office and said, “Don’t forget, wine at your house after work tonight.” A few minutes later FatGirl called me and reminded me we were going house hunting, also after work. Realizing I double booked I had to problem solve. I decided the three of us could go house hunting and then return to the stoop for wine. I shared this plan with my coworker and, “I don’t like to share wine with people I don’t know,” was his reply. What’s the point of drinking wine if you’re not willing to do so with strangers?

I arrived home too late to house hunt and found my coworker waiting on the stoop. We opened the wine, started drinking, and he started talking. We were only one glass in and he was telling me things that are generally reserved for the second bottle. “If we didn’t work together I would have sex with you.” Really? Do I have a say in this? “I would never go there now, because we’re working together, but if we weren’t.”

When FatGirl arrived I thought his presence might change the dynamics, but it didn’t. My coworker was telling FatGirl how much he liked my personality, I stood up to pour more wine, and he said, “I can see your underwear line.” “I’ve seen more than that,” FatGirl interjected and added, “I’ve seen way more than I’ve ever wanted to see.” It’s true, he had, and I blogged about it.

FatGirl eventually left and it was just me and my coworker, drinking wine. “We have a pact, right? If we’re not working together and neither of us is in a relationship we’re going to have sex,” he again told me. “I’m definitely not planning on quitting any time soon,” I replied. He stood up to pour more wine, then leaned down in toward me and said, “Let me try something.” I knew exactly what he was attempting to ‘try’ and there was no way in hell it was happening. “Uh, no,” I advised.

Clearly, there is a reason why I forget certain appointments and if I didn’t have a reason to keep my day job, I do now.