Tree stopped by for stoop time tonight after he got off of work. We were discussing our travel plans when it started to rain. “I just want to meet a boy named Etienne who I can make love to while it is raining.” “Why Etienne?” I asked. “I just really like that name.” I promised I would do my best to find him one.
Shortly after sitting on the stoop, That’s Not Chinese joined us for a quick nightcap. Tree began telling us stories about his weekend camping trip. “I went into the tent around 9 to go to bed because I’d been drinking bourbon and someone started playing Fleetwood Mac. I get really emotional with Fleetwood Mac and bourbon.” Who doesn’t?
That’s Not Chinese started razzing us about our sleeping habits, “I can’t believe you two stay up this late.” “You don’t stay up late or get up early.” Tree piped in, “You’re not a hunter or a gatherer. You should be dead.”
We were listening to Sia, enjoying her infectious melody, and Tree started telling us about a girl whose company was not favorable to him or anyone really, ‘”I want to cut her.” “You want to cut her,” replied That’s Not Chinese. “Do you want a hit?” “A hit? You’re smoking a cigarette,” I said. That’s Not Chinese responded, “I know, but since we’re cutting a bitch he may as well take a hit.”
As That’s Not Chinese and Tree were getting ready to go, That’s Not Chinese stepped on to the lawn, hiked up her skirt, dropped her fullbacks, and said, “Looks like there is a 100% chance of golden rain showers.” Golden rain. Even if you are with Etienne, this kind of rain is not good for love making. I told That’s Not Chinese that her weather report better not leave a mark on my lawn. Tree informed her she was a trainwreck. I reminded her my neighbor likes to watch from across the way and probably enjoyed the full moon.