Live Longer stopped by for coffee by my Thursday morning creek. Sadly, the creek only runs for 45 minutes and by the time we got out there it was just trickling. I’m sure Confucius would have something to say about that.
Confucius has said, “Girl who live in glass house dress in basement.” I don’t live in a glass house (but I would love a great sunroom addition), but dressing is an issue for me and it isn’t just because of my windows. “Your creepy neighbor was just sitting on his porch with his big hairy chest staring at me,” Live Longer informed me as she handed my half-dressed ass a coffee. “Welcome to my world,” I replied and then attempted to get dressed.
Although the instructional video about dressing with a gimp arm was relatively helpful, dressing and undressing is still a bit of a task for me. After I struggled for a minute getting my dress over my head Live Longer said, “I guess I should have helped you instead of just standing here staring.” “It’s OK. I’ve got to get this shit figured out and I’m used to creepy looky-loos,” I replied. Nothing worse than a disabled dick. Interpret that as you may.
I continued to struggle with my side zipper and finally caved. “I give up. Do you mind helping?” I asked. Live Longer kindly obliged. “The worst part is at the end of the day. I often get stuck in my clothes and I have a feeling this one is going to cause problems. Sometimes I could really use some help getting them off,” I informed her. “Your neighbors or your clothes?” Live Longer asked. “Gross,” I replied.