Tree was making tacos last night and, thanks to his food permit training, he regularly washed his hands between the handling of fruits, meats, etc. After a quick bathroom break (and, yes, he washed his hands) he immediately felt a burning down below. Apparently, the jalapeño – a fruit not a veggie – was still on his hands and, now, it was elsewhere. Later, while attempting to have an intimate moment with Awkward, they were instead like Madonna in 1983 – Burning Up.
After he shared this intimate story with me I told him about a similar situation I experienced many years ago. Gone are the days of innocently preparing jalapeño or attempting to make sexy time sexier.
As we continued to discuss these two situations I read a headline on NPR and had to share it with Tree, Chopped: How Amputees Fingertips Sometimes Grow Back. “I guess that is possible,” Tree said and added, “Hopefully it won’t happen while their fingers are in your vagina.”