My neighbor stopped by to check on me the other day and invited me to join her on a walk with her dogs. I was in my lame limb uniform – a tube top dress – and grabbed my uniform shoes – flats. “Oh, we’re going to the foothills, you’ll want to change.” “Shoes and dress?” I asked. “No, just shoes.” So I grabbed my sneakers from the way back of my closet and we went for a short jaunt.
While we walked we caught up on neighborhood matters (I’m witnessing a lot since I’m home all of the time), one of which was the status of a neighbor’s relationship – dissolved. “Do people ever ask you why you’re not in a relationship?” she asked me. “Some do, but they’re usually acquaintances, people who don’t really know me. Do they ask you?” I replied. “Yes,” she said. “It’s funny because I don’t really define myself based on whether or not I am dating. I mean, who I date may reflect on me, but it doesn’t define me, just as being single or in a relationship doesn’t define me.” “I agree. Some people have to be in a relationship and when they are they distance themselves from their friends,” she stated. “Hmmm. I remember someone once asking me if I wanted to settle down, slow down, stop having parties and gatherings at my house. I, of course said I did not want that and hoped to find someone who felt the same.” “I think you being in a relationship would be hardest on your friends….and your stoop. Your stoop might suffer, ” she advised. The suffering stoop – that would be terrible.