With Mother’s Day upon us, and me having been cooped up like a bird with a broken wing for the last few weeks, Sleepless, Oreggano and I decided to celebrate all of our greatness in the little town in which Oreggano resides.
We lined up the boys for daycare and rides and, prior to us leaving for dinner, Cream Of Tartar poured us an aperitif, set a lovely table for he and Ice Cream Man and then began making their dinner. “Dammit! The one night I’m trying to impress Ice Cream Man and my electronic ignition goes out.”
Knowing how much concern Cream Of Tartar had for Ice Cream Man’s comfort, we finished our aperitifs and made our way into town with confidence that they would both have that much concern for our safety when we were ready to return home. When we were ready to leave the restaurant (technically, when they were ready for us to leave – we closed the place down) and head to the tavern, they were ready to transport. We arrived at the tavern to find the marquee announcing a ‘Karaoke and Benefet’ for the kids. Karaoke and misspelled (or is it French?) good intentions for the kids – we’re in!
We immediately got on the karaoke list, tried to enjoy a penis JELL-O shot – it was for the kids, so not appropriate – hung my sling on the gun rack for a drink or two and let loose. Just like at the restaurant, we closed the bar down and Sleepless and Oreggano began texting and calling Cream Of Tartar and Ice Cream Man for a ride home. Unfortunately, we got no response and no ride.
So, with our benefet koozies in tow, we started making the trek home. “Maybe we should see if Live Longer could us a ride,” Sleepless joked. Walking a long way home from events is something she and are very used to – especially when someone was supposed to give us a ride. “Good idea. By the way, I’m peeing in the ditch. It’s for the kids,” Oreggano advised us. I decided to do the same and Sleepless didn’t judge us because she was in a similar situation a few weeks ago. Plus, by this time, it was Mother’s Day. Our day to do whatever we want wherever we want. Oh, and I have a disability. So, we dare anyone, anyone, to question us as we are walking home, rowdy and peeing in ditches. Mother’s Day – it clearly is for the kids, dads and Hallmark and not the mothers.