Hands can often tell us a lot about a person. Some people (mostly men) believe the length of the index finger and ring finger is a great pre’dick’tor for penis size. Others look at hands in an attempt to gauge one’s age. Fortune tellers look at the palm of one’s hand in attempt to see the future.
It’s The Eyes took a look at The Tool’s hand the other day and wondered only one thing, “What the hell is wrong with your hand?” “I had this huge bump on my hand and it just kept getting bigger,” The Tool told us at dinner. “Sounds like a ganglion cyst,” I said and asked, “How did you burst it? Hit it with something hard?” “A ganglion cyst? Weird. Guess that’s better than a dangling cyst, if you know what I mean. I just kept pushing the bump and it went away,” he told me. “Guess it worked. They say the best cure for a ganglion cyst is to burst it somehow,” I advised and added, “Back in the day people regularly used a bible to rupture cysts. So, instead of ganglion or dangling cysts, they called them bible bumps.”
“I wouldn’t want someone to hit my dangling cyst with a bible, that’s just nonsense. Did you know I brought that word back to life in our town?” The Tool asked. “Which word?” I inquired. “Nonsense,” he answered. “Hogwash,” I replied. “Hogwash?” he asked. “Yes, hogwash. Which, by the way, is a synonym for nonsense. If you’re going to bring something ‘back to life,’ bring back something that has really gone away, like hogwash, and your ganglion, not dangling, cyst.”