Couch Pear

I’ve been hanging out on the couch quite a bit lately. So much so, it’s starting to creak a little when I move from my left to right laying position. The reason for so much couch activity, of lack thereof, is my ‘need’ to watch Gossip Girl. As I’ve mentioned before, watching this series provides a mindless, catty, visually beautiful experience for me – a vicarious laycation of sorts.

The more time I’ve spent on the couch, the more I’ve noticed aches and pains throughout my body. In an attempt to offset these pains, I’ve been getting up more often….for snacks and beverage refills. Two months into the new year and three seasons into Gossip Girl I can tell you how things are shaping up for me: like a pear. One quick glance in the mirror and it is clear that I have turned into a couch pear, not to be confused with a couch potato.

Though both the couch potato and the couch pear share similarities, the main difference I’ve noticed is my body looks way more like a pear than a potato. Taking on a pear appearance is ‘fitting’ for me because I have a tendency to consume far more fruits than vegetables (i.e., wine instead of vodka) and, occasionally, I am soft and sweet.

So, with another three seasons of Gossip Girl to go, I’m embracing my shape – literally, I find it comforting – and my new status: one of more than 60 million totally inactive Americans. Why settle for one in a million when you can be one in 60 million?