Tree and I decided to spend a night on the dance floor at one of his favorite restaurant bars. When we arrived the house music was thumping and the crowd, well, I’m not quite sure what exactly they were doing. “I’ve learned most of my dance moves from Hooked on Aerobics and Just Dance, so I think I’m just going to follow the lead of some of these hipsters,” I told Tree while kicking my legs like the hipster next to me. “I’d really just like to dance like Molly Wringwald in the 80s,” he replied.
After making fun of dance moves for at least two songs, we decided to change venues. We arrived at the gay bar to find better music, dance moves, and entertainment. Although packed with gay men, the bar was also sprinkled with straights, many of whom were there as a couple. “Why is it that everyone loves gay bars?” Tree asked. “Maybe because they’re so accepting,” I replied while throwing down some low impact soft rebounds (thank you Jane Fonda).
“Oh God, straights on the stage,” Tree observed and then noticed a group of straight men with their shirts off. “Gays don’t even do that nowadays.” We danced freely, only dancing into people who had danced into Tree in the past. As we did so we observed a foursome: two girls, two guys. The girls appeared to be drunk and into everyone. The boys appeared to be gay, acting straight, aka, stray. One of the strays attempted (unsuccessfully) to get me to make out with his ‘wife.’ I respectfully declined and he then asked Tree if I was his wife. “I think they were hoping for some swinging,” Tree told me. Unfortunately for them, we aren’t into the stray (straight/gay) way and the only swinging we plan to be doing is of the dance variety.