Not on the menu

OregganO and I haven’t hung out for a while, at least a week, so we decided to get together for stoop time. Just prior to her arriving I was surveying my yard when I discovered a 30 foot long 10 foot wide branch that appeared to have fallen off of a large tree and into my garden. I knew we could lift it, because we’re like that, but thought it might help if we could cut it up a bit. I immediately sent OregganO a text asking if she had a chainsaw with her. Surprisingly, she did not.

Upon her arrival, and before tree retrieval, I offered her the standing menu item at my house: grilled cheese sandwich. Special to the sandwich on this occasion, was a Tuscan Herb Olive Oil (in place of butter). OregganO is not always a fan of my sandwiches. A direct result of a little menu mishap in March (Wax Paper for Taste). I promised her wax paper was not on the menu and just as I was taking it from the stove top to the counter top, it flipped off of the spatula and onto the kitchen floor. This was also not on the menu. She kindly ate it anyway.

Sitting on the stoop was great. Our bellies were full with grilled cheese (and whatever was on the floor) and we were sipping two great wines. Me, white. OregganO, red. It was slightly warm, so I turned on the sprinklers to 1) water the lawn and b) cool us down. Being that I don’t have fancy automatic sprinklers, I had to strategically place the hose and sprinkler head on various spots throughout the yard.

This is more dangerous than one might think. While doing this last year I attempted to run through the active sprinkling hose and my flip flop blewout causing me to go sliding across the sidewalk; much like one would on a Slip n’ Slide Waverider, minus the Slip n’ Slide Waverider. Fortunately, I didn’t experience as much trauma this go round. I did, however, break my toe trying to clear the water on my way back to the stoop. Another non-menu item.

OregganO and I were continuing with our stoop activities: drinking, observing and chatting it up, when we noticed a vehicle pull up in front of my neighbor’s house. It wasn’t a car we recognized and, within no time, they were dealing drugs. We notified authorities, however, the dealers were well on their way to other deals. We apologized to dispatch and told them we would have called sooner had we known they were dealing drugs, but we didn’t know. We had no idea drug deals we’re on the evening menu.

All of this activity was a bit overwhelming for us so I pulled out some items I received in a surprise package today via the United States Postal System. OregganO was proper impressed. I reminded her, “pink end out.” As we each had one in our mouth I told her, “It has been at least fifteen years since I’ve had a candy cigarette. I used to love these. I even wrote a poem about it.” I opted not to read it then – we’d already had our fair share of non-menu items.