The word on the streets…

YummYummy and I wasted no time getting into the NY scene. Within an hour of arriving we went straight to Joe’s Pub to hear Billy Simons, who is an amazing Indie artist. Just as we were walking into the pub, we ran into a friend I met here 7 years ago. She and her friends joined us at our table (word on the streets is you should have a table reservation – which we did).

Billy is a quick change artist when it comes to hats. He has oodles of hats and changes them like a magician pulls rabbits out of a hat – without hesitation, right before your eyes and just when you didn’t see it coming. His hats sparked a memory for YummYummy. A while back she dated a Jewish guy, sans Yamika. “I have to admit, I get slightly aroused now when I see a man with a Yamika.” I told her she was in luck because New York has both the oldest and largest Jewish community in North America. We made a vow to keep an eye out for manchovies and tenderonis donning a Yamika.

Staying with the pub theme, we headed to Peculier for drinks and conversation with Billy. It’s been very hot in NYC, so when the ceiling started dripping on us we were actually refreshed. YummYummy was convinced it was jizz. It didn’t taste like jizz.

We spent Friday streetwalking. Another “community” that is large in NYC. YummYummy was proper impressed with the hofessional on 5th Ave and 38th. Her dress was “low so you could see her slack tits, with a large brass ring to keep it together and gathered, an oval hole to expose her belly button and start a game of tattoo peek-a-boo.” I’m not familiar with the number of years one must work on the streets before retiring, but I think they’ll be holding a party for her soon. She probably won’t get a 30-year paperweight. A 30-year supply of Obama Condoms would make more sense. The Hard Times Collection seems the most “fitting”.

HObama and ImPalin were some of the funniest people we encountered on the streets yesterday. They are actors trying to pay their bills and have decided to do so selling the Obama Condoms. Their catchy pitches are what drew us in, “Come check out my package…oh, yes you can…..the ultimate stimulus package….the Oreo pack: two Obamas on the outside and a Palin in the middle.” If you haven’t seen or purchased these condoms you really should. I asked HObama how this gig was working out for them, “I’d be happy to show you. Meet us in room 427 in about two hours.” HObama was hopeful, very Obama of him. Yet, like the condom package reads, “Hope is not a form of protection.”

As we were leaving the streets for the evening we heard a sales pitch to close all deals, “If you buy them tonight I’ll throw in as many free midgets as you want. They’re biracial.”