According to Dr. Eric Gaze and The National Numeracy Network, in order to maintain a ‘stable global population,’ every woman must have 2 children. Doing so, helps ‘replace’ herself and the baby daddy (assuming, of course, there is only one baby daddy).
Based on these numbers, I’m not entirely doing my part; neither are most of my friends. Instead of making babies, I’ve been in the business of preventing them, via the use of contraceptive devices and not sharing or shaving my nether regions – the latter appears to be the most effective contraceptive. Apparently, it is time for me to step up.
I primarily came to this conclusion, not because of Dr. Gaze and the triple N, rather, because of costs. Based on insurance coverage for contraceptives, compared to costs and tax incentives for dependents, it appears to be more cost effective for me to ditch contraceptive devices, think globally, and have another baby.
My out-of-pocket cost ($500) for a new contraceptive implant is as much, actually more, than a global ready mobile phone and I don’t get a ‘new every two’ option. “If I’m going to think globally, I’d rather do so by getting a global ready phone with a nice camera so I can take pictures of my contributions to a stable global population,” I told That’s Not Chinese. “Well, you might want to make sure you hook up with someone internationally this time,” she advised me and added, “By the way, it costs you nothing to pick up condoms at Planned Parenthood.”
She makes a good point. Free is far less expensive than the cost of a new, global ready phone. Although, I do need a new, global ready phone and I really don’t need a global, fetus ready body.
That said, it isn’t like I haven’t attempted to maintain a stable global population; I do have MiniMe. So, for now, I’ll just spend the money on a new phone, ‘check in’ at places like Planned Parenthood, and hope for the best.