That’s Not Chinese was in need of some cheering up and invited me to stop by after work. What neither of us realized, however, was the negative news I was going to receive right before leaving work. Our HR department has been revising our on-call policy and finally presented it to management team. The revision: zero alcohol consumption if one is on-call. Being that I am on-call 24/7, this is an issue. “Any chance we can make an exception for me?” I asked HR and my boss. “Seriously. I’ve got several more years before I can retire and it’s bad enough that we can’t drink at work. Doesn’t anyone watch Mad Men? And now I can’t ever drink? Really?” Might be time to brush up my resume.
The timing of this policy is ironic considering the study Tree just shared with us, which finds people who drink more are smarter than their non-drinking, not so smart, counterparts. But who needs data to prove a point? Smart, drinking people, that’s who. Clearly, the people who made this policy do not drink.
“That reminds me,” That’s Not Chinese told me, “Don’t forget you can’t go to the liquor store on election day.” “Pretty sure they changed that law,” I told her while enjoying what may very well be my last supper – red wine, macaroni and cheese, and corn dogs. “Gotta love comfort food and wine,” she said and took a drink. “Damn alcohol rules and policies. Let me check my source about election day,” I said. I sent my source a message which read, “Do I need to go shopping tonight or will certain stores be open tomorrow?” My source replied, “All liquor stores are open tomorrow, regular hours. Perhaps we should get keys made for our ‘best’ customers?” I love smart people and definitely plan to rely on the wisdom of several smart and well known people to make it through both this policy and this election:
“An intelligent man is sometimes forced to be drunk to spend time with his fools.” – Ernest Hemingway
“In wine there is wisdom, in beer there is Freedom, in water there is bacteria.” – Benjamin Franklin
“There are two kinds of people I don’t trust: people who don’t drink and people who collect stickers.” – Chelsea Handler
I have a sneaking suspicion a few people in my office have sticker collections.