Stoopside

Last night That’s Not Chinese, Tree, and I planned to hold a private Citizen Cope concert at my house. Tree ended up having to work late, so That’s Not Chinese and I got the privilege of spending several hours on the stoop. We had only been on the stoop about 30 minutes when Naked Neighbor made his appearance. That’s Not Chinese was entertained by this – I’m used to it, standard practice. A few minutes later, two police cars pulled up. “Oh, oh, here we go, here we go,” exclaimed That’s Not Chinese. She had thought Naked Neighbor might be in trouble, not the case. The officers went to a house down the street. I grabbed my camera, hit the zoom, and took a picture of Naked Neighbor for That’s Not Chinese – souvenir.

As often happens when police show up (or when my friends show up), the neighbors were gathering together, gawking and gossiping. Naked Neighbor even joined in the festivities. Fortunately he was standing behind a garbage can, so his bits were unseen. Not Naked Neighbor, who I had not met prior, made his way toward my stoop and advised us there had been an attempted burglary across the street. I told That’s Not Chinese that was exactly why I didn’t live on the West side…of the street. We invited Not Naked Neighbor to join us on the stoop for wine and food.

We had just finished a lovely meal of Hebrew Nationals and broccoli when Alice drove by – ten minutes later, she was with us on the stoop. Shortly after that, Tree and So Shy arrived. Unfortunately, we never had the private Citizen Cope concert. We did, however, get to observe some rather entertaining activity in the park, when we were walking Alice home. On the West side of the park, there was a group of guys having a rave of sorts, doing the butterfly and other fancy moves with their glow sticks. Just East of them was a 60+ year old man and a young woman (maybe in her 30s) who were getting ready to get busy on their blanket. We gave them our well wishes.

This morning, I was cleaning up the remains of the evening and my Next Door neighbor was out on his stoop. I filled him in on last night’s activities and, as we were talking, another neighbor walked by, got in his car and drove away. “There’s the peer,” said Next Door. “He likes to pee as soon as he gets out of his car – day or night.  Does not care, just pulls it out and pees.” Yet another amazing stoop observation.

Tonight, I had the privilege of spending the evening on my friend’s stoop. One of the stoopsters was donning a sporty hat and smoking a cigar when he declared, “Tonight, I’m going to get soused. It’s a ’50s term.” A little later, when he was soused, one of the other stoopsters gave him some sound advice, “Hey, put your peanut back in your shorts.” Apparently, the manner in which he was sitting – which was pleasing to him – was not pleasing to others. Too bad he doesn’t live in my neighborhood – I have a feeling he and Naked Neighbor would get along very, very well.