First things first. Driver License? Really? Nobody refers to it as ‘Driver License.’ Everyone, except for people who speak English as a second language, refers to it as ‘Driver’s License.’ Possessive. Right and wrong. Possessive is exactly what people with a Driver License become when they are renewing their license – they hate giving up their old one. Especially, if it is a good picture.
The picture on one’s driving license, license with which they legally drive, or fake ID, is actually the most important part of the license. I once watched an Oprah show in which she gave three very important pointers: powder your face, stick your neck up and out, and something else that I cannot recall. Some people recommend dressing up, others recommend being sober. I would agree with the latter – the driver license division is the last place you want to drive to after drinking. As far as dressing up, I wouldn’t worry about it. One year, BeCuz wore a tube top. She looked naked in her picture and a lot of people liked checking her ID.
This year, as I prepared for my picture, I sent That’s Not Chinese a text. “Heading to Driver License Division for a new DL. Should I smile or smirk?” “Do both, it is what I did and I look like I’m high,” was her reply. I took her advice and I believe my picture looks a bit like a smugshot. “You don’t look high, that is a bonus,” That’s Not Chinese told me. True, I don’t look high, but the current picture is in black and white. Once in color, it could be a totally different story. I’m hoping by the time I get it in the mail they will have passed legislation so I may have a Driver’s License, not a Driver License – it just makes sense. In the meantime, I’m pleased to see my skin isn’t shiny in the picture.