PhD

Sleepless invited me to join her Tuesday night group at a little Italian lounge. I have a feeling my Italian lessons had something to do with this invitation. Which is fine with me, ho sete.

I got the privilege of meeting Tile, BeauD, FrothOff and Message. The Scotts, unfortunately, could not come. Very sad – for them.

We started talking about dating and Tile seemed to have all of us topped, literally. Several months ago, she got a bid for tile work. Turns out, the tile guy lays more than tile. To this day, he is constantly checking her grout. Prior to that, she had some roofing done. Nice guy; just has a preference for being on top. Then there were the brothers and the cousins, none of which were from the same family reunion. Phew. During the discussions, Tile received a text from Grout. He was just checking in with her but couldn’t come by tonight due to Shingles (girlfriend). Aha. Tile sent him a text back asking if he would be stopping by in the morning. Unfortunately, the text didn’t go to Grout. Tile accidentally sent it to the wrong guy. Tomorrow morning should be interesting for her. BeauD, concerned for Tile’s welfare, had some words of advice for her, “Watch out for structural steel erectors and, don’t forget, the good guys lay pipe.” The only thing missing from this conversation was Dionne Warwick playing in the background.

I told them about a recent barbecue I attended at The Leaver’s house and how QuQueen (formerly known as Karaoke Queen) outted my heterosexuality. With the exception of QuQueen’s mother, I was the only “straight” girl in the mix. QuQueen continued with questions: “Why don’t you date girls? Have you ever dated girls? Why do you like guys?” And, for her mother, “Mom, you’ve been with a women, haven’t you?” Nothing says BBQ like steak, corn, Double Stuf Oreos and a couple of hard pressing questions about your sexuality. One of the other girls piped up and asked me, “Let me guess, you want a guy with a PhD, right?” “No, not really. I don’t get too caught up in credentials,” I responsibly replied. “You know what I mean,” she said, “You want a guy with a Pretty huge Dick.” Sleepless quite liked this story and we spent the rest of the evening asking the men in the bar if they had a PhD – BeauD and FrothOff included.