Compelled to rub

Last week I worked out, once. I weighed myself this week and it appears I lost one pound. This working out thing is really working out for me. So, I worked out again yesterday. Not wanting to jinx my weight loss luck, I stopped doing the cardio at the same time I did last week, immediately after burning 50 calories.

A little bit later, I attended a class to prepare me for my new job as Beer Cart Girl. Once again, I learned working out pays off. Not only does it help burn the “empty” calories in alcohol, bodies with more muscle can tolerate more alcohol than bodies with lots of fat. In addition, regular drinking increases your tolerance and is like exercise for your liver. Two workouts, one day. Nice.

Tree stopped by after my class and we reminisced about our evening with That’s Not Chinese. Being that I recently converted That’s Not Chinese to the public library, a lot of our discussion was about the benefits of belonging to the elite library group. Tree and I were comparing our music collection and it became apparent we shared the same taste. That’s Not Chinese couldn’t take our bonding moment much longer and told us, “Would you just sleep together and get it over with? God, I remember when we talked about sleeping together.” Tree reminded her they never actually discussed doing this, rather, she suggested it and he said no. That’s Not Chinese kvetched, “But I’m pretty.” Prettiness always “straightens” things out.

Tree and I were in the mood to play, so we headed to one of the local clubs for karaoke. Upon arriving I met several of his friends. One of my favorite friends was Nice Pants Wanna Rub ‘Em. To be honest, I’ve never been so compelled to want to rub someone’s pants – the sheen on them was unbelievable. As we were waiting our turn to take the mic, a Chinese Asian approached center stage. His English was a bit broken as he introduced himself and then he pulled a Susan Boyle. His voice was amazing. I decided I couldn’t really follow him with my current song selection, Loving, Touching, Squeezing by Journey, so I changed it to something a little more simple, Hold On by Wilson Phillips.

Not wanting the night to end, Tree and I accepted Nice Pants Wanna Rub ‘Em’s invitation to join him and his friends for a meal at a 24-hour diner. Nice Pants Wanna Rub ‘Em asked if we had any meal recommendations. I suggested Moons Over My Hammy. He had eaten that a few years back and wasn’t sure he wanted it again. When the waitress came to take our order he brushed his hand across the pictures on the menu and said, “Do you have any recommendations based on these pictures?” She advised him there was a really good picture on the back and she was right, the Western Burger looked and tasted divine.