Run the wiper…

Met up with That’s Not Chinese today for slurpees and tree planting. After tackling her tree, not to be confused with Tree – who she tried to tackle, we decided we deserved a nice meal.

We chose to frequent a local fresh fish market. The term “fresh fish” is used loosely when you live inland. To get the party started, I ordered oysters on the half shell, That’s Not Chinese is not a fan of oysters and informed me she almost threw up in her mouth. After that, we ordered the same thing. Our waiter, Ward, was quickly dubbed “Mental Ward”. He was a bit off. It didn’t seem to matter what we ordered, we wouldn’t get it as ordered. Unless, someone else in the restaurant ordered the same thing, at which point he would advise us he was “reminded” that we wanted bay shrimp on our salad or more cheese on our crab stuffed mushrooms.

Tree, to be referred to as Smitten Kitten today, met up with us for after dinner drinks and couldn’t wait to tell us about his new beau, Sho Shy. Smitten Kitten is clearly smitten and wanted to share their story with That’s Not Chinese and I. He started at the beginning, with how they met. He stated they met at a club and That’s Not Chinese immediately had questions.

Where is the club? Do they play techno? Have I ever been there? She was really hung up on the address. Smitten Kitten informed her, “The address is not relevent. I don’t know who took our money, don’t know the coordinates, and does it really help you to know what music is playing? The story is long, covers two weeks, and I’ve only gotten to part about where we met.”

After that, Smitten Kitten couldn’t remember where he was in the story, but I thought Sho Shy sounded really nice. It was about this time when That’s Not Chinese had, yet, another question, “Do you not have heat?” This really seemed like more of a statement and is clearly her way of letting me know she is cold. I turned up the heat and gave her a blanket.

Within five minutes, Smitten Kitten and I were wiping our brows – it had warmed up quick. That’s Not Chinese was sitting comfortably with her feet outside of the blanket and the blanket in between her legs. It looked like she was wearing a diaper. Smitten Kitten was perplexed, “You can jam out with your clam out or rock out with the cock out. But what can you do with a diaper?” I suggested, “Run the wiper if you’re wearing a diaper.”