Sans Seniors

The other night, around ten or so, I received a text from On My Terms, “Home alone! Well, with the dog. But no senior citizens!, Oh, except me. You should march on up here and hang out with me! I’ll bake cookies!” I replied telling her I would come over and asked if I could wear my pajamas. “Of course. It is fashion du jour around here. I’m doing it.”

As I getting ready to walk out the door, she called me, “Wanted to warn you that the uncle just showed up.” “Should I not come over?” I asked. “No, come over. I just wanted to give you a heads up that he’ll probably be here for the weekend, if not longer,” she advised. This news put a dent in On My Terms’ plans to be senior free – something that doesn’t happen very often since she lives with her dad and grandfather.  I arrived to find one of our favorite shows, Betty White’s Off Their Rockers on the TV – appropriate considering the living situation – and On My Terms, her uncle and the dog on the couch.

On My Terms immediately offered me a drink, “I’ve got champagne. You can make a mimosa or just drink the entire bottle.” I opened the champagne, made a mimosa, then asked if she had a champagne stopper. “No. If I drink corked libations I usually finish them,” she replied.

We tried to watch the show, but her uncle was more interested in speaking with us loudly. He didn’t notice his volume, most likely because of his hearing aid. On My Terms suggested we do karaoke and he was ecstatic, “Do you have The Everly Brothers?” Unfortunately she didn’t, but since the words were projected on the screen, not knowing the band wasn’t an issue for him. While On My Terms and I sang into our microphones, he sang in the background. “You two are great. We oughta get you on The Ed Sullivan Show,” he told us.

As he retreated downstairs to watch TV, I asked On My Terms if she would be OK with him. “Yes, I’ll be fine. At least I don’t have to bathe him, like Grandpa,” she replied.

Five hours, several songs, champagne and cookies later, I left On My Terms with the senior citizen and returned home to find I, like On My Terms, was not alone for the weekend. MiniMe was waiting up for me and my alibi was ready, “I was rehearsing with On My Terms for our stint on The Ed Sullivan Show.”