I love flowers. I especially love cutting them from my own garden and sharing them with others. In celebration of the arrival of 4-oh-9, Sleepless and I decided to cut some fresh tulips and take them to Oreggano (no more Opreggano, for a little while, anyway), Cream Of Tartar and 4-oh-9 at the hospital.
Like a woman who just had an epidural, our arrival was a bit delayed – work definitely has a way of cutting into our personal lives. Thus, by the time we gave them the flowers, the leaves of one of the pink tulips had curled a bit. “We were going to take that one out, but then realized it looked like labia, so we opted to leave it in for you,” I advised them. “Oh, we’ve seen a lot of labia today,” Cream Of Tartar advised us. “I bet you have,” Sleepless concurred.
As we cooed over 4-oh-9, Quite Contrary, mother of Oreggano, told us, “She (Oreggano) was an ugly baby. I remember looking at the neighbor’s baby and thinking, ‘I want a cute baby.'” “Sad,” Sleepless said while giving Oreggano a sympathetic look. “No, it’s true. I was ugly. I was a forceps baby – black and blue all over,” Oreggano confirmed. “The Coneheads of Saturday Night Live were pretty popular then. Her dad thought her only hope was to be a Conehead. She grew into it,” Quite Contrary told us while we all stared at Oreggano’s head. I guess she could be a Conehead. She does like consumables, has drunk an entire six pack of beers at once (about nine months previous, to be exact), and she is now a parental unit.
After taking loads of pictures with and of 4-oh-9 and her parental units, Sleepless took something else – a couple of ‘sex pads’ and a maternity diaper to enhance her sexy time with Ice Cream Man. No need to tell her to try and be sexy.
Before leaving, Sleepless went through all of the cabinets and drawers one last time and advised Oreggano and Cream Of Tartar, “Take everything. You’re paying for it. Six weeks.” Six weeks is the amount of time they must wait to play senso-rings, on their newly acquired sex pad. “I did the math, they know the exact date now,” Sleepless proudly stated. I’ve no doubt Cream Of Tartar took note and, like Beldar Conehead, will be summoning Oreggano six weeks from now.