It has been about 39 days since I’ve had sex, in the sink. Being that I recently became aware of a few new products, I couldn’t wait to bag a few more babes.
So, as everyone starting getting their hair colored and cut at Sunday’s SL,UT Cuts, I prepped the sink.
For those who were virgins, I warned them about the fact that they may get what I refer to as a ‘facial douche.’ This is something that is almost impossible to avoid when you’re face down in a sink with a spray nozzle. As I finished rinsing Bitchin’ Camaro’s hair, I patted her face with the towel and told her, “If you want me to hold you for a minute, I will. Or, I can offer you a cigarette.” I like being held and I’ve never been this wet. Look at my face,” she replied. “I love clean dirty girls,” I said while adjusting the grocery bag on her head so she could experience a little deep conditioning.
Opreggano was anxious to get to the sink – those third-trimester pregnant girls love sex. While I had her there, I asked if she’d be interest in a little extra shine. She agreed and I poured on the beer rinse. “Want a little more extra shine?” I asked. “Sure, why not!” she replied. I pulled the coffee pot out and poured about two cups of cold coffee on her hair. I have a feeling she would have had a cigarette if it weren’t for the pregnancy.
BioMom was next, however, she only wanted the ‘missionary’ wash, “Before I let you do me, I want to make sure there aren’t any odd products within your reach. No beer, coffee, or anything else.” With the exception of some Pellegrino water, nothing was within reach. Although I toyed with surprising her with a sparkling finish, I didn’t want to waste the water because Fine Girl was using it to make our skinny margaritas. Even a girl like me has standards.
Once everyone left, I started cleaning up. I found LaLaLovely left a bag of items, BioMom forgot her hair clip, Opreggano’s checkbook was on the couch and Sleepless was still wearing my underwear (had to loan them to her the other day – long, short story). Just like a regular one-nighter, they left things behind so they would have reason to return. I can’t blame them – with all of the new products, this was truly the best sink sex. Ever.