Multi-use

For years the bathroom has been a multi-use location. The majority of people use it to take care of the three s’s – shit, shower and shave, but there are some, like Larry Craig, who use the loo to do more than poo.

 

There are the people in my office who use it as an opportunity to try to lift people’s self-esteem by putting motivational thoughts on the door, “You just keep pushing. You just keep pushing. I made every mistake that could be made. But I just keep pushing (Rene Descartes).” There are the people at the clubs who use it to do to blow or to blow someone.

 

And then there are the boys who, while using it for it’s intended purpose, are often assessing and comparing each other’s junk. “You’re pretty small,” Ice Cream Man told Frat Boy after he showed us the way to guesstimate a man’s length (look at the span between their thumb and their pinky). “Not fair, I was flacid. I’m seriously big. I know a guy who is 6’4″ with a size seven shoe. What’s up with that?” Frat Boy replied. “Not much is up with that. I was with a pro basketball player once. He was big, but he wasn’t big,” I advised. “He did give her about ten pounds of meat though,” Ice Cream Man proudly shared.

 

It’s true. He was moving to another state and didn’t want to transport his freezer items so he gave me his meat, literally.

 

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