Like a prostitute who ran out of gas money, I had to step out of my short-lived ‘retirement’ and return to work today.
Yesterday, as I mentally prepared myself for this event, I felt like a kid returning to school after winter, spring or, even worse, summer break. I did not want to do it! I wanted to continue to go to bed when I wanted, wake up when my body was ready and do more of nothing than I’ve ever done before. Being that this wasn’t an option, I did what anyone would do: I looked at the clock, realized I still had several hours before I had to return to ‘reality,’ and agreed to go to a concert with 55 WPM.
When I picked her up, an hour before the show, she asked, while holding a beverage, “Do you want to head out right away or have a drink?” “Hmmm, really?” I asked. She gave a sly smile and graciously handed me the drink in her hand. As we continued to pass this beverage back and forth, she said, “I guess I could make two drinks.” At this point, it was really too late to dirty another glass, so we just kept refilling the one we had. As it got closer to the time of the show, we grabbed a flask, filled it with whiskey and headed out the door.
“Look at that full moon,” I told her as we exited her home. “Actually, it is an almost full moon. If you don’t mind, I’d like to enjoy it even more with this,” she said and stuck her freshly rolled (in honey papers) cigarette in between her lips – something she hides from her daughter (back in the day she would have been hiding this from her mother). “Mmmm, I can taste the honey,” she told me and asked, “Do you smoke?” “Nope. Tried it in school, but never quite got the hang of it.” “Too bad, this is divine,” she replied. This comment reminded me of one of my favorite musicians from our high shool days – Divine. I’ve no doubt 55 WPM and I listened to him when we weren’t listening to OMD, Trans-x or Erasure, while driving around town, sluffing class.
Who we didn’t listen to in high school, was Maceo Parker, but we were ready to listen to him last night. We took our positions in front of the stage and, within minutes, Maceo came on stage and announced, “School’s in! Get ready to get funky!” We were more than ready and got completely funked up. As we were doing so, a couple of ladies started dancing next to us and thought 55 WPM looked familiar. “Does she type?” one of them asked me. “I’m sorry, what?” I asked. “Does she climb?” the women repeated. “Oh, I thought you said ‘type.’ I don’t know if she climbs, but she types 55 WPM. At least she did in high school,” I replied.
After the concert, we hit the drive-thru for some deliciously nasty fast food, parked in a nearby parking lot to eat it, and wished we had time to go toilet papering. Maybe we’ll do that during Spring Break.