I had my hair cut today and it got me thinking. I have encountered a lot of people with Bump-Its lately. Should I just embrace it? If ‘yes’ is the answer, I have to wait until I see them on an infomercial- which may not happen anytime soon – I refuse to pay department store prices for a Bump-It. After the salon, I headed to the mall.
Why the mall? Partly becuse my hair was sporting a very “teased eighties” look – my new stylist did her best to replicate her style, sans Bump-It. And, partly, because I needed some things I could only get there. After a delicious food court lunch, I shopped a wee bit and then closed the deal with a chocolate chip cookie and a large cup of milk. It was both nostalgic and fabulous.
After the mall, I met up wit h OrggeganO. She wanted to buy alarm clocks. I wanted to buy a car. We had both talked about wanting these items for some time, so I wasn’t sure if she was really serious about her purchase. She was and, several hours later, so was I. I think we have done a lot for the economy today. Speaking of the economy, I shared an observation with OregganO: as near as I can tell, the only the thing the recession hasn’t impacted is people’s weight. No cuts there, and we weren’t even at Wal-Mart.
While sitting at the dealership bistro and enjoying fruit punch and fresh popcorn – yes, OregganO was pleased with the popcorn and said, ‘Now this shit is good’ – we started to chat with one of the sales associates. He was about 300 pounds, 6’4″, and stylish. I remembered him from the last time I was there. Not necessarily because of his size, it was his style, he was wearing a carnation pink two-piece suit. I asked him why he wasn’t wearing it today and he informed me his mom sent it to him and later realized it was supposed to go to his brother, so he had to give it to his brother. Not to worry, he’s got his eye on a bright orange two-piece. He then informed us he has what is known as Polynesian swagger and, we could just call him ‘Poly Swagger.’ It’s nice when people come up with their own nicknames, although Recession Proof would have been a good one too.
Later, we picked up Patty Melt for a stork test in the back seat of my new ride and wine at her house. We had been there for a while when her husband, So Quiet, came home and joined in the festivities. We talked about a lot of things, one of them being my new car purchase and buyers’ remorse. I informed them I typically only experience buyers’ remorse when I don’t buy things, like Knights in Shining Armor and dessert. As we were leaving, Patty Melt asked So Quiet to retrieve the cat kennel for No Action Jaxon. So Quiet retrieved the litter box. Patty Melt wasn’t pleased. She walked out to the shed and ripped the off the door. OregganO asked, “Did she just throw that door?” Yes, she most certainly did. So Quiet quietly helped her grab the kennel and we made our way home.
as you know, area man is a big fan of infusing tax dollars into our local economy, or “area” economy. however, I feel a little left out of all the buying/infusing. I need a few things, any advice where I could find:
a) a suit of armor in a 38 regular
b) some good popcorn
as an aside, was your friend ‘poly swagger’ looking for a date? I know a polynesian guy, but his type is bald/bearded area men…
Area Man, I should have included you in this afternoon of “recession who?”
I wish knew where one could find a suit of armor in a 38 regular – if I knew, you would be happy and I would be done shopping for Fru Fru Pants’ birthday.
Good popcorn is easy: the car dealership. It is free, as are the fountain sodas. If you become a regular, they will require you to pick up trash from the lot prior to partaking, but that seems fair.
One might think “Poly Swagger” would already be part of or want in on the lovely family we met at karaoke, however, he is married and a mormon. He was telling us he met his wife at a dance and later said, “You know, they love swinging in the LDS culture.”