Last week, a married conference participant asked me where he and his buddy should hang out during the evenings. I asked what they enjoyed doing and he told me, “drinking beers, talking to girls.” I provided a sarcastic option, then told them I was kidding and gave other legitimate options. A few days later, he was talking with me at a group event and told me if I hadn’t been rude and automatically identified him as a ‘pig,’ he might have hung out with me during the rest of the conference. It’s hard to believe I missed out on that opportunity. Being that I was in charge of the event, I didn’t disrespect him (again) and continued to let him tell me – the single, unmarried, non-cheating girl – about my problems. Summed up, he said I shouldn’t be so mean to people in the early stages because that makes them think I’m an asshole. Being a good, submissive robot woman, I thanked him. “That was really helpful, thank you. I’ve joked that I should preface most of my interactions with ‘Let me preface this with I’m an asshole,’ but it is nice to know the preface isn’t necessary.”
While in the Living Room at ‘my hotel,’ I opted to stick to dancing and avoid any discussion with other individuals in the bar. This turned out to be fruitful for me in that it resulted in me making $3 and having a man give me his room key. The next morning, and by ‘morning,’ I mean afternoon, Yumm Yummy and I were shopping at a street vendor when a man approached me while looking at his phone and said, “I just wanted to see if this was you.” He turned his phone toward Yumm Yummy and I and showed us several photos of me dancing with his friend. Pretty soon, his friends were by his side. “It is you.” “Wow! That’s crazy that you would find us in a city this big,” Yumm Yummy stated. “I gave you my room key,” the friend said smiling. “You did. Room 111o. I’ve still got it,” I advised him and added, “See you soon.” Yumm Yummy and I then walked away in disbelief. “How is that possible in a city this size?” A few seconds later, she saw her boss – who also happened to be visiting New York for the weekend. “How is that possible?!?!” I asked.
That night, Four Mojitos In was two glasses of wine in and out for the night, so she stayed in while Yumm Yummy and I went out on the town again. We met up with HObama and ImPalin and, while enjoying drinks with them at a small bar, one of the patrons began speaking with me. I had no interest in speaking with him, however, was doing my best to be polite. He asked for my number and I gave him my actual number – no Jenny business – not something I would normally do. He then said, “You seem pretty cool, even though you’re an asshole.” “I’m sorry, what?” I asked. “You. You’re cool and everything, but you’re also kind of an asshole.” “Wow,” I said and shared this exchange with Yumm Yummy. “Tell him to go fuck himself,” she advised. “See, that was asshole of you. Telling your friend I said that,” he replied. “Right. So, here’s the thing,” I told him. “Because I am an asshole, I am going to end this conversation with you and continue hanging out with my friends, which is what I was doing before you so rudely interrupted, only to call me an asshole. Now who’s the asshole?”