S-Unit decided to check in on my robotic activities and, at the same time, totally dropped a bomb on me. “So guess what I’m doing on Saturday?” She didn’t even give me time to guess and I had several good guesses ready, “Calling people from the yearbook;” “Celebrating New Year’s Eve early;” “Kegeling.” I only wish I had guessed that which rhymes with kegel – Milton Teagle.
“I’m working out with Richard Simmons,” she told me with great excitement. “Really?” “Yes, for $12. I have to bring my own glass of water and a large towel,” she informed me. “What about a stool in case you want to do the low impact excercises?” I asked. “That’s a good idea. I may want to bring a stool.”
“This is going to be fun for you. You’re going to be pretty exhausted. You better start stretching,” I advised. “Also a good idea,” S-Unit replied.
I decided to do a little research on Richard and found out that, like so many of my friends, he does not go by his real name – Milton Teagle Simmons. In addition, even though he is surrounded by loads of peeps in the Academy Award winning film Sweatin’ to the Oldies (I can’t tell you how many times I sat on the couch watching this while eating bon bons and, occasionally, crying), he doesn’t have a lot of friends.
“I don’t have a lot to offer one person. I have a lot to offer to a lot of people,” he claims on his website. In many ways, we have a lot in common. My favorite Milton Teagle quote, however, is this, “Throughout the years, Richard still gets his greatest satisfaction from reaching out and literally touching his students.” Hmmm.
I have a feeling that I better contact S-Unit and let her know that just stretching beforehand won’t cut it. She needs to put her best forward and, when she does, she needs to be prepared to be touched. I like to call this move the Milton Teagle.