Tree needs watered

It’s been a while since That’s Not Chinese and I have hung out, so we planned a relaxing evening of wine and dinner on the stoop. With our wine glasses in hand, and the bottle of wine nearby, we were ready to relax.

 

My neighbors have had family staying with them lately, so there were several children running around the yard and doing as kids do. “God, really?” That’s Not Chinese stated. Although she is not opposed to children, she is not a fan. I don’t mind the kids, but have to remember to mind my mouth when they’re about.  As a coworker stated today, “I bet you have the mouth of a sailor.” My reply, “It’s a recession. It is crazy to not use any and all words at all times. Besides, words have no meaning other than that which we place on them. Now fuck off.”

 

As That’s Not Chinese and I drank our wine and discussed world peace and the like, she decided she needed to pee. “I really wish they would go inside,” she told me. “Why?” I asked. She gestured toward the tree that she had ‘claimed‘ several months ago and said, “I just love peeing outside.” As she reluctantly made her way into the house to use the toilet, I advised her, “You’re the reason my grass is dead.”

 

When she returned to the porch I informed her one of the family members had gone into the neighbor’s house, around the same time as she went into pee, and stated, “Don’t let anyone come in – I’m going to the bathroom.” “Hmmm,” she thought out loud and then said, “I wish they had all gone in. Tree needs watered.”

 

 

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