Today one of my friends called to tell me she had recently hooked up with an ex, just before he was deployed to Iraq. She is such a patriot – doing him for our country. We’ve all seen and enjoyed (don’t deny it) Grease 2, “Bullets are exploding, they’ll soon be at the door, give something to America you never gave before. Yeah, let’s do it for our country, the red, white, and the blue…” She heard the booty call to duty and gave him the infamous send off sex, S.O.S., it’s not just an ABBA song anymore.
Unfortunately, she was “late” and too embarrassed to buy a pregnancy test. We live in different states and I couldn’t physically go with her to buy one, so I offered to accompany her via telephone. I even offered to talk to the cashier and pretend the test was for me, “Hey, could you please point my friend in the direction of the pregancy tests? Last time I sent her in she got me a douche instead and, nine months later, I had a baby. No pun intended.”
In addition, I offered to move there, be the fetus nanny and, once the baby was born, we could start our own sitcom, Two and a Half Women. Production money shouldn’t be an issue. She should have plenty of start-up cash once she claims the S.O.S. on her tax return. I’m pretty certain doing it for your country is a write-off. Just as I was coming up with the story line for Season One, Episode One, she informed me she wasn’t pregnant. Sadly, the postpartum depression hit me quick.
You are bonkers. You know that right?
Define bonkers.
sounds like a good pitch for a zany sitcom. the setup: bonkers lady and her kooky friend raise a child who isn’t sure if he has:
a) two mommies
b) two “mommies”
it’ll be like the odd couple, with less sex.
Did the “Odd Couple” have sex?