The thing about really great shoes is they are also a really great identifier. For example, if you are stalking someone while wearing clown shoes, you are most likely going to get caught. Or, if you’re in a conference room with windows and the blinds are drawn part-way, you can usually, at a minimum, see the shoes and, if you’re like me, assess them. Cute. Saucy. Old. What the? After a while, you recognize people by their shoes. This can be both good and bad. Good to be known as the girl with the saucy shoes. Bad to be known as the stalking clown or the girl who stunk up the loo. How did they know? The shoes.
I met up with a former coworker for dinner today and before eating we both decided to, as the boys say, hit the head. We entered the making room room to find two stalls. The first stall revealed a partially flushed toilet. “You can have that one,” she informed me while walking to the second stall. I took the partially used stall and, as we sat next to each other with only a stall wall between us, she started talking to me about the toilets at our office and the toilet seat covers (provided for your protection courtesy of the management – so thoughtful). “I do not like those toilets. Before I’ve even got my thing spread out, they flush.” Oh the things that are said in bathroom stalls.
We excited the stalls around the same time and made our way toward the sink. Being that there was only one sink, I politely allowed her to wash her hands first. While waiting, I noticed a sign by the sink, “Employees must wash hands.” “Since I don’t work here, I’m not washing my hands,” I told her. “Ew. You have to wash your hands. Besides, you work somewhere so you are an employee,” she instructed me. “Fine. This is just one more reason to be unemployed. Work is a lot of work – even at dinner.”
A few hours later, I was working at the furniture store when my coworker walked up and asked, “Do you want to know what I just did in the bathroom?” This is a very interesting question and I wasn’t too sure that I wanted to know, but she continued. “Bathrooms are dirty and I don’t like to see them, so I always take my glasses off when I go in. Usually, I just hook them on my shirt like this (she provided a demonstration). I did that today, but when I went to put on the seat cover, my glasses fell in the toilet. Luckily, the seat cover protected them.” “Wow. That is amazing. You know what you should do?” I asked and then advised, “Thank the management.”