Due to the fact that I never found my French Travel Pack CD, my vocabulary in France was pretty much limited to ‘Bonjour,’ ‘Comment ca va?’ ‘C’est si bon,’ ‘Merci,’ ‘Beau cul,’ and ‘100% parfait’ (the ‘1oo%’ bit spoken in English – of course). I figured I would get by just fine because That’s Not Chinese speaks a bit of French and I didn’t think anyone would pick up on the fact that we weren’t French. “No way. American accents are loud,” Rusty Rogue Rafael loudly informed us in his British accent at a Chinese buffet, “they totally stand out.” That’s Not Chinese and I found this comment, especially in this environment, to be ironic.
One lovely afternoon, That’s Not Chinese and I decided to walk our loud selves down to the village bar. Maverik Midget King had told us about the bar on several occasions and, like many of the businesses in this quaint village, the hours were completely dependent upon whether or not the owner wanted to open. Luckily, the bar owner opted to open the bar on this day and we walked in to find two patrons. “Bonjour,” That’s Not Chinese and I excitedly greeted them. They replied with an equally excited “bonjour” and a sentence or two that neither That’s Not Chinese or I understood. We smiled politely and then I made a brief, yet important, announcement, “We’re Américains!” “Ah, welcome Américains,” the bartender greeted us in English.
Within no time, That’s Not Chinese and I were enjoying drinks with the bartender, a Countess, and an Italian. They taught us a few new phrases, such as ‘À votre santé,’ and we learned that, though a lovely and catchy phrase/tune, ‘C’est si bon’ is not what most French people say. We also got the scoop on the other shop owners in the village and, after a few drinks, stopped by the market before heading home.
By the time we returned home, Maverik Midget King and Rusty Rogue Rafael had returned from their afternoon in the fields. “How was Brokeback Mountain?” I asked Maverik Midget King. “It was very nice, but what does that mean? Everyone keeps saying that,” he replied. “Wow,” That’s Not Chinese replied.
Polite as always, Maverik Midget King asked us about our day. We informed him we had spent the afternoon at the bar and met several people from the town. “I live here one year and know no one. You are here one day and know everyone,” he said in shock. “What can we say?” I said and then, as if rehearsed, both That’s Not Chinese and I announced, “We’re Américains!”