Visiting Maverik Midget King is always both entertaining and educational. He lives in a small village in France and has learned English from books, language programs and Rusty Rogue Rafael, aka, Rosetta Stoned. Just as we teach Maverik Midget King English, we learn French and interesting idioms from him.
That’s Not Chinese and I were teaching him a few new words, like ‘epic,’ and he was trying to think of the best context in which to use the word. “Ah, I get it, it is monumental, like gay pride.” “Exactly,” we replied in unison. A little while later, he was sharing some candy with us and advised us, “The best is not the taste, it is the joke inside.” “True for so many things,” I replied.
Just as he had done last visit, he changed the ‘shits’ for us. Shits is his way of saying sheets and is one of those words you don’t want to correct, because it is just so cute. Prior to hitting the shits, he shared one of his favorite idioms with us, and we opted not to correct it – ever, “Do yourself like at home.” “Oh, we will. Merci,” That’s Not Chinese assured him.
Once Rusty Rogue Rafael joined up with us we all did ourselves like we were at home by heading to a Chinese (Chionese) buffet and, after that, a bowling alley and pool hall. Like at home, That’s Not Chinese and I spoke loudly, at least, that is what both Rusty Rogue Rafael and Maverik Midget King told us, “American accents are loud.” I chose to respond in Spanish, loudly, “Que?”
After That’s Not Chinese and I won two of three pool games and Maverik Midget King did time-out in the corner for being a sore loser, we played a game of bowling, and then went home to play BINGO – just like at home. Rusty Rogue Rafael, with a shit (not sheet) eating grin on his face, began telling us that Canal Jumper had made a comment about us visiting Amsterdam, “American girls want Euro cock. I’m going to get me some American pie.” I looked at That’s Not Chinese and said, “I need to go take some allergy medicine. I’m allergic to this bullshit.” Maverik Midget King responded, “I’m just like a Bounty Bar, but opposite. White on outside, black on inside.” “Do yourself like at home,” That’s Not Chinese advised him.