Nasty, nasty, nasty

Lately, I’ve been wondering about the tulips. Each day as I leave to work they are open and lovely. When I return home from work or when it is rainy out, they are closed. Being the botanist that I am, I knew there had to be a scientific reason for this activity. Sure enough, it is called nastic movements – non-directional responses to stimuli. Plants and humans truly have so much in common.

Turns out, the tulips are just like Oreggano and I, in that they are photonasty. Now that you’ve got a visual, I’ll correct your nasty thoughts and let you know that only means we respond to light. In addition to photonasty, there are all kinds of other -nasty and many of them are common among humans. Nyctinasty – movement in the dark or at night; Chemonasty – chemical response ; Thigmo- or Seismonasty – response to touch. Then there is Stuponasty. This is one I just made up when I learned of my neighbor’s new landscaping business: G Spot Landscape Design. The ‘G’ stands for ‘Green.” I shared this information with Sleepless who, kindly, gave him the benefit of the doubt, “Maybe he was being funny.” “No,” I replied, “He isn’t that kind of funny.” “Really? Is he a virgin?” she asked, “Or is he just stupid? ” Yes, he is just stupid. Stuponasty – responds to nothing. And as far as whether or not he has pollinated, I have no idea – but I did see him with a hoe in the backyard.

It was around this time that I found two great things. An article on gardening with tips such as ‘Get in right,’ ‘Hit the spot,’ ‘Spoil the soil,’ and a Sesame Street classic on youtube, “It’s the Shpritzer Honker Splasher Sprinkler Tweeter Squirt.” This is a cute little song and video that involves dancing around a large wet instrument in a public place. Who doesn’t love to do that? It is amazing how some things can have so many meanings. I like to call this gem, Shpritzonasty.