So hungry we ate a horse

If there is one thing MiniMe loves, it is being our burrito runner (aka, designated driver). Tonight was no exception. Prior to retrieving BiAss (who would rather be called Fussy One, but I would rather have flawless olive colored skin), we had MiniMe run us to the liquor store. I asked if she knew where it was and she said, “I know where it is. It is right by PE.” ” Is that really why you know where it is?” asked Tree. “Or is it because you always drive your mom there?”

Earlier in the evening (about 10 minutes prior), we had discussed people who lie. Not those who lie in bed – we don’t judge those types. Rather, those who tell lies. MiniMe shared an observation, “There is a big difference between a lie and a hyperbole.” There are a couple of ways to silence a room quick. 1) Make an extremely insensitive comment. 2) Use a big word that others don’t understand. Not one to enjoy a pregnant pause, Tree spoke up, “College kids, Jesus.”

It took me two days and multiple online searches to understand this word and that is not a hyperbole, that is the truth. I didn’t research it until the next day and I was spelling it wrong – huge difference between a hyperbole and a hyper fibula – thus, I am not using an extreme exaggeration to make a point. To be honest, none of us had time for exaggerations, we were too hungry. Starving even. We’ll probably end up eating a horse.

Once we were seated at the restaurant, Tree and I were talking about our upcoming volunteer activity which will benefit a children’s medical center. “I hate children,” said BiAss. “Just because you hate them doesn’t mean they have to have diseases,” Tree advised him and then continued telling everyone about our task. “So, we are going to have hot dogs and hamburgers.” “I didn’t know about the hamburgers. Do you have a food handler permit?” I asked Tree. “Yes, I have a food handler permit,” he responded and then told Sleepless, “She’ll (looking my way) handle the money.” “She knows how to make change,” Sleepless replied. “Do you have a boom box?” Tree asked me. “You know it,” I replied. “This is going to be great!” Tree exclaimed.

“It really is going to be great,” said Sleepless and added, “I cannot wait for pictures.” “Maybe we should take an outfit change,” suggested Tree. I decided to throw in a hyperbole, “If we take outfit changes we will sell thousands of hot dogs and make millions.” This hyperbole resulted in BiAss asking MiniMe a question, “What is a conjecture then?” “Yeah,” MiniMe responded, “I only use words I know.”

As things go with our group, this topic brought us to a completely unrelated topic, high definition television. “I’m not a fan,” I told them. “Makes people look horrible,” MiniMe added. “I love HD,” said BiAss, “I watch it and I’m always like, ‘Did I take something I forgot about?'” It is virtually impossible to talk about psychedelic drugs and not make a reference to a Disney cartoon. MiniMe shared a story with us about a little girl who believed The Little Mermaid’s hair color was the color of true redheads. MiniMe quickly and boldly corrected this young girl’s misconception. “Did you also let her know Santa Claus isn’t real?” asked Tree. “Or the Easter Bunny?” Sleepless asked and giggled. “Or that parents don’t love each other?” Tree quipped. “Orgasms, they’re not real,” I advised. Sleepless, though laughing, was concerned MiniMe might not really understand this last comment. “Orgasms?” MiniMe said rhetorically, “I know they’re not real. I’m in my second year of college. If I didn’t know that, then I’m in trouble.” That’s the truth, or is it a hyperbole?