Three times, not a lady.

Tree and I are big fans of brunch, so we decided to have some at That’s Not Chinese’s house – we even invited Sleepless and Little Sleep. Unfortunately, That’s Not Chinese was not entirely aware of or prepared for the occasion. Luckily, Tree had carried a carton of eggs with him for miles (at least 10) and I had brought some champagne for That’s Not Chinese’s favorite brunch beverage, nomosas (like mimosa, minus the juice).

For whatever reason, That’s Not Chinese was struggling with the champagne and had spilled it several times. “Once, twice, three times a lady,” Tree sang to her on the third spill. “S-Unit always tells me there is a song for everything,” I told them. “She is absolutely right!” Tree confirmed.

“Listen,” That’s Not Chinese said, “This morning came way too early. I was in bed, sleeping, when I got a text from my mom and I was like, ‘damn mother.’ Then, as I attempted to ignore it, you (me) called and I accidentally answered it and I was like, ‘shit.’ Then I had to get up and I was like, ‘fuck.'” “Very nice,” I told her and then asked, “Have you met Little Sleep?” “We aren’t child appropriate,” Tree stated in her and his defense. Sleepless and I agreed and told them they probably couldn’t be a part of our Babysitter’s Club.

As we were eating our brunch we decided to watch an episode of Modern Family in which Sofia Vergara had several scenes. “I love her accent,” said Tree. “I’m totally going to a speech therapist so I can sound like her.” After the episode we opted to watch Adele on Vh1. That’s Not Chinese was singing her little heart out. “I can totally sing on tone with her when she is singing live.” It was about this time that she sang a bit off key. “No, really, I can do it,” That’s Not Chinese assured us. “I know, I know,” Tree said in a comforting tone while softly rubbing the top of her hand and forearm.

After Adele’s concert we were discussing her lyrics and the reason (break up) for many of her songs. I shared a story about an ex and That’s Not Chinese went to the place she only goes to when I tell her stories about this ex. “I think you two should saunter off now. I’ve got some vandalizing to do.” This news was very pleasing to Tree. “I’m in! Let’s vandalize, I love it!” he said while clapping his hands together like Mongo the Singing Hand Clapping Monkey.

Not wanting to get in the way of her vandalism, and having run out of bubbly, Tree and I headed out for our next adventure.

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